The Navy eternal : $b which is the Navy-that-Floats, the Navy-that-Flies and the Navy-under-the-SeaBartimeus
History
The Navy eternal : $b which is the Navy-that-Floats, the Navy-that-Flies and the Navy-under-the-Sea
Bartimeus
Great Britain. Royal Navy -- Fiction; Sea stories; War stories; World War, 1914-1918 -- Naval operations, British -- Fiction
Harker it was who smelt out, like a Zulu witch-doctor, the grass snake
and dormouse that lived a life of communistic ease and reflection in the
washing till of someone’s sea-chest. Harker’s the suspicious mind that
led to official “ruxes” of private tills, and the confiscation of
meerschaum pipes, Turkish cigarettes, and other contraband. Yet all this
without any effect of espionage.
The nearest approach to active espionage that Harker permitted himself
was hovering in the vicinity of the gangway when the terms were landed
for daily recreation. The law of the Medes and Persians had it that
during cold weather all cadets not playing games must land wearing a
particularly despicable form of under-garment: a woolly and
tucked-into-the-socks abomination that the soul of every right-minded
cadet revolted from. As the procession passed under the low gangway on
its way to the launches alongside, Harker, lurking in the vicinity,
would suddenly pounce upon a suspect.
“’Ave we got our DRAWERS on, Mr. So-and-so?” came the merciless query.
The progress of the procession was arrested while Mr. So-and-so racked
his brains for some suitable parry to this very leading question. A
damning negative having eventually been extorted, the underclad one was
hauled from the ranks and given three minutes in which to get to his
chest, extract from his wardrobe the garment that found such high favour
in Olympian eyes, put it on, and rejoin the tail of the procession.
Thus a first offender; a second offence resulted in “no landing.” There
was no appeal.
The muddy, tired, ever-hungry throng that returned some three hours
later again passed on board under this lynx-eyed surveillance. This time
illicit “stodge” was the subject of Harker’s unquenchable suspicions.
Smuggling stodge on board (another of the seven deadly sins) required
considerable ingenuity, owing to the ban the authorities thought
necessary to impose on pockets. Regular outfitters pandered to this
Olympian whim, and constructed trousers with an embryonic fob just large
enough to hold a few coins. The unorthodox, who arrived with garments
bearing the stamp of provincialism and pockets, were bidden to surrender
them forthwith, and stout fingers ruthlessly sewed the pockets up.
The jacket had only one, a breast pocket already congested by keys,
handkerchief, letters from home, pet bits of indiarubber, and the like.
Remained therefore the despised garment already alluded to. This, being
tucked--by official decree--into the wearer’s socks, formed an admirable
hold-all for a packet of butterscotch--worked flat--a snack of Turkish
Delight, or a peculiar and highly favoured form of delicacy known as “My
Queen.”
With a not too saintly expression, an unflinching eye, and a
sufficiently baggy pair of trousers, the contrabandist might count on a
reasonable amount of success. But Harker’s X-ray glance rarely failed
him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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