He began to be intensely and minutely conscious of the world
outside--so entirely conscious that he lost all perception of that at
which he stared; whether it was the paper, or the strong, motionless
hand, or the introspective face, he was afterwards unaware. But he
heard all the quiet roar of the London evening, and was able to
distinguish even the note of each instrument that helped to make up
that untiring, inconclusive orchestra. Far away to the northwards
sounded a great thoroughfare, the rolling of wheels, a myriad hoofs,
the pulse of motor vehicles, and the cries of street boys; upon all
these his attention dwelt as they came up through the outward windows
into that dead silent, lamp-lit room of which he had lost
consciousness. Again a hansom came up the street, with the rap of
hoofs, the swish of a whip, the wintry jingle of bells....
He began gently to consider these things, to perceive, rather than to
form, little inward pictures of what they signified; he saw the
lighted omnibus, the little swirl of faces round a news-board.
Then he began to consider what had brought him here; it seemed that he
saw himself, coming in his dark suit across the park, turning into the
thoroughfare and across it. He began to consider Amy; and it seemed to
him that in this intense and living silence he was conscious of her
for the first time without sorrow since ten days ago. He began to
consider.
* * * * *
Something brought him back in an instant to the room and his
perception of it, but he had not an idea what this was, whether a
movement or a sound. But on considering it afterwards he remembered
that it was as that sound is that wakes a man at the very instant of
his falling asleep, a sharp momentary tick, as of a clock. Yet he had
not been in the least sleepy.
On the contrary, he perceived now with an extreme and alert attention
the hand on the paper; he even turned his head slightly to see if the
pencil had moved. It was as motionless as at the beginning. He glanced
up, with a touch of surprise, at his hostess's face, and caught her in
the very act of turning her eyes from his. There was no impatience in
her movement: rather her face was of one absorbed, listening intently,
not like the bearded face opposite, introspective and intuitive, but
eagerly, though motionlessly, observant of the objective world. He
looked at Mrs. Stapleton. She too bore the same expression of intent
regarding thought on her usually rather tiresome face.
Then once again the silence began to come down, like a long, noiseless
hush.
This time, however, his progress was swifter and more sure. He passed
with the speed of thought through those processes that had been
measurable before, faintly conscious of the words spoken before the
sitting began--
"... If possible, the silence of thought."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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