to banish negativism and overcome the opposition is to cease to
oppose, and to practise this aloofness not so much at meal-times, for
somehow by patience the child must be got to take his food, but in all
our conduct to him. Repression and reproof, and thwarting of the
child's will, and coaxing and entreaty must cease. There is no fear
that we shall thereby make the child unduly disobedient. We have
already, in another chapter, decided that negativism is not strength
of will on the part of the child which must be broken, but is the
result of constant attempts to oppose his nature, and the consequent
nervous unrest. If we cease to oppose, the symptoms will tend rapidly
to disappear, the child will become busy and contented and happy in
his play, and we shall hear no more of his refusal of food. If
sometimes it recurs for a week or two, we shall know how to deal with
it.
In children, as with us, periods of nervous unrest and unhappiness are
apt to recur in a sort of cycle. This cyclical character of mental
disturbance is often a marked feature. We see it in epilepsy and
in what the French have called Folie Circulaire. We see it in the
dipsomaniac, in the intermittency of his craving for drink and of his
periodical outbursts, and we see it in ourselves in those periods of
depression which recur so often, we know not why. Little children too
sometimes get out on the wrong side of their beds, and never get right
the whole long day. Their own experience of the vagaries of mental
states should lead mothers to be indulgent to the children in their
days of cloud and to be particularly careful not to goad them by
well-intentioned efforts into bursts of naughtiness and passion, each
one of which tends to perpetuate the condition and increase the
nervous unrest. We know how closely dependent is the sensation of
appetite upon emotional states, and we must do all in our power--and
the task is sometimes one of real difficulty--to keep the child's mind
sufficiently at rest to preserve the healthy desire for food
unimpaired. If there is no sign of appetite, but every sign of
restlessness and irritability, we must seek in the management of the
child until we find the fault.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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