So, too, an unfortunate publicity given to child prodigies brought with
it for a short time an epidemic of forced intellectual feeding of
children, that produced only a precocious neurasthenia as its great
result. Similarly the Montessori method of child training which made
every woman into a kindergarten teacher did a hundred times more harm
than good, despite the merits of the system. That a child needs to
experiment with life himself means that it will be a long time before
the average mother will know how to help him.
A factor that tends to perplex the mother and hurts the training of the
child is her doubt as how "to discipline." Shall it be the old-fashioned
corporal punishment of a past generation, the appeal to pain and blame?
Shall it be the nowadays emphasized moral suasion, the appeal to
conscience and reason? With all the preachers of new methods filling her
ear she finds that moral suasion fails in her own child's case, and yet
she is afraid of physical punishment.
This is not the place to study child training in any extensive manner,
yet it needs be said that praise and blame, pleasure and pain, are the
great incentives to conduct. One cannot drive a horse with one rein;
neither can one drive a child into social ways, social conformity by one
emotion or feeling. Corporal punishment is a necessity, sparingly used
but vigorously used when indicated. Of course praise is needed and so is
reward.
What is here to be emphasized is that a sense of great responsibility
and an over-critical attitude toward the children is a factor of
importance in the nervous state of the modern housewife. Increasing
knowledge and increasing demand have brought with them bad as well as
good results. Here as elsewhere a little knowledge is a dangerous thing,
but a more serious difficulty is this,--though fads in training arise
that are loudly proclaimed as the only way, there is as yet no real
science of character or of character growth.
The tragedy of illness is acute everywhere, and the sick child is in
every household. In many cases I have traced the source of the
housewife's neurosis to the care and worry furnished by one child. There
are truly delicate children who "catch everything", who start off by
being difficult to nurse, and who pass from one infection to another
until the worried mother suspects disease with every change in the
child's color. A sick child is often a changed child, changed in all the
fundamental emotions,--cranky, capricious, unaffectionate, difficult to
care for. A sick child means, except where servants and nurses can be
commanded, disturbed sleep, extra work, confinement to the house, heavy
expense, and a heightened tension that has as its aftermath, in many
cases, collapse. The savor of life seems to go, each day is a throbbing
suspense.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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