The heart of the mother is in her child; she glories in its progress,
and she refuses to see its defects until they glare too brightly to be
overlooked. Then she has a heartbreak all the more bitter for her
maternal love.
It is the incorrigibly bad child and the mentally deficient child who
evoke the severest, most neurasthenic reaction on the part of the
housewife. Not only is pride hurt, not only is the expanded self-love
injured, but such children are a physical care and burden of such a
nature as to outbalance that of three or four normal children.
The bad child, egoistic, undisciplinable, destructive, and quarrelsome,
or the child who cannot be taught honesty, or the one who continually
runs away, is an unending source of "nervousness" to his mother. As time
goes on and the difficulty is seen to be fundamental, a battle between
hostility and love springs up in the mother's breast that plays havoc
with her strength and character. The very worst cases of housewife
neurosis are seen in such mothers; the most profound interference with
mood, emotion, purpose, and energy results.
Similarly, with the mother of the feeble-minded child. At first the
child is viewed as a bit slow in walking, talking, in keeping clean, and
the mother explains it all away on this ground or that. A previous
illness, a fall in which the head was hurt, difficulty with the
teething, diet, etc., all receive the blame. Alas! In the course of time
the child goes to kindergarten and the terrible report comes back that
"the child cannot learn, is clumsy, etc.", and the teacher thinks he
should be examined. Then either through the examination or through the
pressure of repeated observations mother love yields to the truth and
feeble-mindedness is recognized.
There are plenty of women who, with this fact established, adjust
themselves, make up their minds to it. But others find that it takes all
the pleasure out of their lives, become morbid, and do not enjoy their
normal children. For with all due respect to eugenics and statistics I
am convinced that the most of feeble-mindedness is accidental or
incidental, and not a matter of heredity. Once a mother gets imbued with
the notion that the condition is hereditary, she falls into agonies of
fear for her other children. In my mind there is a thoroughly
reprehensible publicity given to half-baked work in heredity, mental
hygiene, and the like that does far more harm than good and interferes
with the legitimate work.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account