Another factor of importance needs some space. The bridal year needs
seclusion, on account of a normal voluptuousness that attends it. No
outsider should witness the embraces and the kisses; no outsider should
be present to impede the tender talks and the outlet of feeling. It
sometimes happens that the elderly have a reaction against all
love-making; having outlived it they are disgusted thereby, they find it
animal like, though indeed it is the lyric poetry of life. So it was in
this case; the mother was a third party where three is more than a
crowd, and she was a critical, disgusted third party. The young woman
found herself taking a similar attitude to the love-making, found
herself inhibiting her emotions and had a furtive feeling of being spied
on.
The previously strong, energetic girl quickly broke down. Physical
strength and energy may come entirely from a united spirit; a disunited
spirit lowers the physical endurance remarkably. She became disloyal to
matrimony, rebelled against housework, and yet loved her husband
intensely. A prey to conflicting ideas and emotions, she fell into a
circular thinking and feeling, where depressed thoughts cannot be
dismissed and depressed energy follows depressed mood. Prominent in the
symptoms were headache, sleeplessness, etc., for which the neurologist
was consulted.
How to remedy this situation was to tax the wisdom of a Solomon. It
probably would have remained insoluble, had not the statement I made
that the main element in the difficulty was the mother-in-law _vs._
daughter-in-law situation come to the ears of the old lady.
Conscientious and well-meaning, that lady announced her determination to
take up her residence with a married daughter who already had a
well-organized household, and whose husband was a favorite of the
mother's. Despite the mother-in-law joke of the humorists, the
mother-in-law is far more friendly to a daughter's husband than to a
son's wife.
This solved part of my patient's problem. There remained the adjustment
to domestic life. This was hard, and though in part successful, it was
delayed by the sterility of the marriage. The husband and wife agreed
that pending a child she might well become active again in the larger
world. Though the best place would have been her old work, pride and
convention stood in the way, and so she entered upon more or less
amateurish social work. Finally, perhaps as an unconsciously humorous
compensation for her own troubles, she became an ardent and thoroughly
efficient secretary to a league of housewives that aimed at better
conditions. This work took up her time except for the supervising of a
servant, and this nondomestic arrangement worked well since she had no
children.
Case VIII. The childless, neglected woman.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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