Mrs. A. O'L. had added to these difficulties the mother-in-law question.
She was an orphan when she married, and was the private secretary of a
business man who because she was efficient and intelligent and loyal
gave her a good salary. She knew his affairs almost as well as he did
and was treated with deference by the entire organization.
She married at twenty-six a man entirely worthy of her love, a junior
official in a bank, looked on as a rising man, of excellent personal
habits and attractive physique. She resigned her position gladly and
went into the home he furnished, prepared to become a good wife and
mother.
Unfortunately there already was a woman in the house, Mr. O'L.'s mother.
She was a good lady, a widow, and had made her home with the son for
some years. She was a capable, efficient housewife, with a narrow range
of sympathies, and with no ambitions. There arose at once the almost
inevitable conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Some day perhaps we shall know just why the husband's mother and his
wife get along best under two roofs, though the husband's father
presents no great difficulties. Perhaps in the attachment of a mother to
a son there is something of jealousy, which is aroused against the other
woman; perhaps women are more fiercely critical of women than men are.
Perhaps the mother, if she has a good son, is apt to think no woman good
enough for him, and if she is not consulted in the choosing is apt to
feel resentment. Perhaps to be supplanted as mistress of the household
or to fear such supplantment is the basic factor. At any rate, the old
Chinese pictorial representation of trouble as "two women under one
roof" represents the state in most cases where mother-in-law and
daughter-in-law live together.
The senior Mrs. O'L. began a campaign of criticism against the younger
woman. There was enough to find fault with, since the wife was
absolutely inexperienced. But she was entirely new to hostile criticism,
and it impeded her learning. Furthermore, she was not inclined to try
all of the mother-in-law's suggestions; she had books which took
diametrically the opposite point of view in some matters. There were
some warm discussions between the ladies, and a spirit of rebellion took
possession of the wife. This was emphasized by the fact that she found
herself very lonely and longed secretly for the hum and stir of the
office; for the deference and the courtesy she had received there.
Further, the distracted husband, in his rôles of husband and son, found
himself displeasing both his wife and his mother. He tried to get the
girl to subordinate herself, since he knew that this would be impossible
for his mother. To this his wife acceded, but was greatly hurt in her
pride, felt somehow lowered, and became quite depressed. The house
seemed "like a prison with a cross old woman as a jailer", as she
expressed it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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