I shall not attempt to settle the larger problem of whether she should
have forgiven her husband and returned to him. Granting that his
repentance was genuine, granting that no further lapse would occur, she
would never be able to forget that when he deceived her he had _acted_
the part of a devoted husband. She would never be able fully to trust
him, and this would spoil their married happiness entirely. "For the
children's sake," cry some readers; well, that is the only strong
argument for return. But on the whole it seems to me that an honest
separation, an honest revolt of a proud woman is better than a dishonest
reunion, or a "patient Griselda" acceptance of gross wrong.
Case XI. The unfaithful wife.
In such cases as the preceding and the one now to be detailed, the
difficulties of the physician are multiplied by his entrance into
ethics. Ordinarily medicine has nothing to do with morals; to the doctor
saint and sinner are alike, and the only immorality is not to follow
orders. To do one's duty as a doctor, with one's sole aim the physical
health of the patient, may mean to advise what runs counter to the
present-day code of morals. This is the true "Doctor's Dilemma." In
such cases discretion is the safest reaction, and discretion bids the
physician say, "Call in some one else on that matter; I am only a
doctor."
A true neurologist must regard himself as something more than a
physician. He needs be a good preacher, an astute man of the world, as
well as something of a lawyer. The patient expects counsel of an
intimate kind, expects aid in the most difficult situations, viz., the
conflicts of health and ethics.
Mrs. A.R., thirty-one years of age and very attractive, has been married
since the age of eighteen. She has two children, and her husband, ten
years her senior, is a man of whose character she says, "Every one
thinks he is perfect." A little overstaid and over dignified, inclined
to be pompous and didactic, he is kind-hearted and loyal, and successful
in a small business. He is an immigrant Swiss and she is American born,
of Swiss parentage.
Always romantic, Mrs. A.R. became greatly dissatisfied with her home
life. At times the whole scheme of things, matrimony, settled life, got
on her nerves so that she wanted to scream. She was bored, and it seemed
to her that soon she would be old without ever having really lived. "I
married before I had any fun, and I haven't had any fun since I married
except"--Except for the incident that broke down her health by swinging
her into mental channels that made her long for the quiet domesticity
against which she had so rebelled. Her daydreaming was erotic, but
romantically so, not realistic.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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