World War, 1914-1918 -- Hospitals, charities, etc.
The first time this happened I did not quite understand what was going
on. He repeated the one phrase again and again: "Oh, the pain in my
knee!" And gradually I became aware that this lament was becoming a
real melody, and for five long minutes Carre improvised a terrible,
wonderful, heart-rending song on "the pain in his knee." Since then this
has become a habit, and he begins to sing suddenly as soon as he feels
that he can no longer keep silence.
Among his improvisations he will introduce old airs. I prefer not to
look at his face when he begins: "Il n'est ni beau ni grand mon verre."
Indeed, I have a good excuse for not looking at it, for I am very busy
with his poor leg, which gives me much anxiety, and has to be handled
with infinite precautions.
I do "all that is necessary," introducing the burning tincture of iodine
several times. Carre feels the sting; and when, passing by his corner
an hour later, I listen for a moment, I hear him slowly chanting in
a trembling but melodious voice the theme: "He gave me tincture of
iodine."
Carre is proud of showing courage.
This morning he seemed so weak that I tried to be as quick as possible
and to keep my ears shut. But presently a stranger came into the ward.
Carre turned his head slightly, saw the visitor, and frowning, began to
sing:
"Il n'est ni beau ni grand mon verre."
The stranger looked at him with tears in his eyes but the more he
looked, the more resolutely Carre smiled, clutching the edges of the
table with his two quivering hands.
Lerondeau has good strong teeth. Carre has nothing but black stumps.
This distresses me, for a man with a fractured thigh needs good teeth.
Lerondeau is still at death's door, but though moribund, he can eat. He
attacks his meat with a well-armed jaw; he bites with animal energy, and
seems to fasten upon anything substantial.
Carre, for his part, is well-inclined to eat; but what can he do with
his old stumps?
"Besides," he says, "I was never very carnivorous."
Accordingly, he prefers to smoke. In view of lying perpetually upon
his back, he arranged the cover of a cardboard box upon his chest;
the cigarette ash falls into this, and Carre smokes without moving, in
cleanly fashion.
I look at the ash, the smoke, the yellow, emaciated face, and reflect
sadly that it is not enough to have the will to live; one must have
teeth.
Not every one knows how to suffer, and even when we know, we must set
about it the right way, if we are to come off with honour. As soon as he
is on the table, Carre looks round him and asks:
"Isn't there any one to squeeze my head to-day?"
If there is no answer, he repeats anxiously:
"Who is going to squeeze my head to-day?"
Then a nurse approaches, takes his head between her hands and
presses.... I can begin; as soon as some one is "squeezing his head"
Carre is good.
Lerondeau's method is different. He wants some one to hold his hands.
When there is no one to do this, he shrieks: "I shall fall."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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