He divided the contents of the bottle (not quite fairly) between the two
cups. He gave himself the advantage of the choice and finished his drink
at a draught. I followed his example and found that I was drinking
distilled water. At this I was somewhat disappointed, but the more
disposed to forgive him for the injustice of the division.
"And now, my friend," he said, "we can talk."
"Then," I replied, "you will perhaps tell me what is the reason for the
custom which prevents you from taking your drink in a sociable manner.
In the country from which I come we like to sit and chat over our
glass."
"So it was here also in the dark ages," said my host. "At that time our
drink was for the most part of an alcoholic character, and it was found
that the more one talked, the more one drank; and the more one drank,
the more one talked. It was a vicious circle of foolishness and
ill-health, and the practice was made illegal. Alcoholic drink is quite
unknown now among the first-class beings of Thule. But the custom of not
speaking when one drinks, although we now only drink water, still
remains. It is one of the many instances in which the ritual has
survived the religion."
I pointed now to the grating in the floor. "A ventilator, I suppose."
"Exactly. It is actuated once every hour for two minutes. It draws out
carbon dioxide, which being heavier than air is in the lower part of the
room, and at the same time draws in fresh air through the corresponding
grating in the ceiling, which communicates with a shaft to the open. The
great point about it is that it is absolutely noiseless. Our study of
longevity has shown us that irritation is one of its deadliest enemies.
The noise of an electric fan is irritating, especially in a bedroom. I
dare say the crude appliances you have in the old world still whir or
clatter."
"I notice that all your electric lights are fixed in the ceiling itself.
Is there any reason for this?"
"Naturally. Anything which hangs may subsequently fall. We do not court
dangers. It is curious that you should mention it, because I was
speaking of this point only last week to my friend, the Professor. He
showed me a picture of an old-world chandelier. He also told me it was
the custom in England and other uncivilised parts of the world to daub
oil-paints on a piece of canvas. This was surrounded by a heavy frame
and was suspended on walls. It was called a framed picture. You will
find nothing so reckless here. By the way, I have found out about
England. I cross-spoke to the Outer Office, and they told me it was a
piece of land at the back of Scotland."
I found later that "to cross-speak" meant in Thule to send a wireless
message.
"The mention of the Professor," my host continued, "reminds me that
to-day is his birthday and mine. On this day I generally make him a
ceremonial visit, and I shall be pleased to take you with me. As a
specimen you will interest him."
"Might I ask what you mean by the Outer Office?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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