The Newcomes: Memoirs of a Most Respectable FamilyThackeray, William Makepeace
General
The Newcomes: Memoirs of a Most Respectable Family
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Domestic fiction; Families -- England -- Fiction
The reader who has passed through Walpole Street scores of times, knows
the discomfortable architecture of all, save the great houses built in
Queen Anne’s and George the First’s time; and while some of the
neighbouring streets, to wit, Great Craggs Street, Bolingbroke Street,
and others, contain mansions fairly coped with stone, with little
obelisks before the doors, and great extinguishers wherein the torches
of the nobility’s running footmen were put out a hundred and thirty or
forty years ago:—houses which still remain abodes of the quality, and
where you shall see a hundred carriages gather of a public night;
Walpole Street has quite faded away into lodgings, private hotels,
doctors’ houses, and the like; nor is No. 23 (Ridley’s) by any means
the best house in the street. The parlour, furnished and tenanted by
Miss Cann as has been described; the first floor, Bagshot, Esq., M.P.;
the second floor, Honeyman; what remains but the garrets, and the ample
staircase and the kitchens? and the family being all put to bed, how
can you imagine there is room for any more inhabitants?
And yet there is one lodger more, and one who, like almost all the
other personages mentioned up to the present time (and some of whom you
have no idea yet), will play a definite part in the ensuing history. At
night, when Honeyman comes in, he finds on the hall-table three wax
bedroom candles—his own, Bagshot’s, and another. As for Miss Cann, she
is locked into the parlour in bed long ago, her stout little
walking-shoes being on the mat at the door. At 12 o’clock at noon,
sometimes at 1, nay at 2 and 3—long after Bagshot is gone to his
committees, and little Cann to her pupils—a voice issues from the very
topmost floor, from a room where there is no bell; a voice of thunder
calling out “Slavey! Julia! Julia, my love! Mrs. Ridley!” And this
summons not being obeyed, it will not unfrequently happen that a pair
of trousers enclosing a pair of boots with iron heels, and known by the
name of the celebrated Prussian General who came up to help the other
christener of boots at Waterloo, will be flung down from the topmost
story, even to the marble floor of the resounding hall. Then the boy
Thomas, otherwise called Slavey, may say, “There he goes again;” or
Mrs. Ridley’s own back-parlour bell rings vehemently, and Julia the
cook will exclaim, “Lor, it’s Mr. Frederick.”
If the breeches and boots are not understood, the owner himself appears
in great wrath dancing on the upper story; dancing down to the lower
floor; and loosely enveloped in a ragged and flowing _robe de chambre_.
In this costume and condition he will dance into Honeyman’s apartment,
where that meek divine may be sitting with a headache or over a novel
or a newspaper; dance up to the fire flapping his robe-tails, poke it,
and warm himself there; dance up to the cupboard where his reverence
keeps his sherry, and help himself to a glass.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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