Tal me not, yu knocking fallers, Life ban only empty dream; Dar ban planty fun, ay tal yu, Ef yu try Yohn Yohnson's scheme. Yohn ban yust a section foreman, Vorking hard vay up on Soo; He ban yust so glad in morning As ven all his vork ban tru. "Vork," say Yohn, "ban vat yu mak it. Ef yu tenk yure vork ban hard, Yu skol having planty headaches,-- Yes, yu bet yure life, old pard; But ay alvays yerk my coat off, Grab my shovel and my pick, And dis yob ant seem lak hard von Ef ay du it purty qvick." Yohn ban foreman over fallers. He ant have to vork, yu see; But, yu bet, he ant no loafer, And he yust digs in, by yee! "Listen, Olaf," he skol tal me, "Making living ant no trick. And the hardest yob ban easy Ef yu only du it qvick!" "Let us den be op and yumping, Always glad to plow tru drift; Ven our vork ban done, den let us Give some oder faller lift. Den, ay bet yu, old Saint Peter, He skol tenk ve're purty slick; Ve can go tru gates, ay bet yu, Ef ve only du it qvick!" ANNIE LAURIE Minneapolis ban qvite bonny Ven early fall the dew; It ban dar dat ay ask Steena To mak her promise true,-- To mak her promise true; But she yust pass me by; And she tal me, "Maester Olaf, Yu skol pleese lay down and die." Her brow ban yust lak snowdrift Or Apple Blossom flour; And she smile lak anyel fallers, Ay tenk of her each hour,-- Ay tenk of her each hour, And feel lak ay can cry, Ven she tal me, "Maester Olaf, Yu skol pleese lay down and die." Like dew on sidevalk falling, She du me gude, ay guess. Ay tal her, "Pleese, Miss Steena, Vy don't yu answer yes?-- Vy don't yu answer yes?" But she yust venk her eye, And she tal me, "Maester Olaf, Yu skol pleese lay down and die." THE CHARGE OF THE LIGHT BRIGADE Yoyfully, yoyfully, Yoyfully onvard, In dis har walley of death Rode the sax hundred! It ban a cinch, ay tenk, Some geezer blundered. "Hustle, yu Light Brigade! Yump!" Maester Olson said; Den in the walley of death Go the sax hundred. Cannon on right of dem, Cannon on left of dem, Cannon on top of dem, Wolleyed and t'undered; Smashed vith dis shot and shal, Dey ant do wery val; Most of dem ketching hal,-- Nearly sax hundred! Yes, all dem sabres bare Flash purty gude in air; Each faller feel his hair Standing. No vonder! Yudas! It ant ban yob For any coward slob, Fighting dis Russian mob. Ay tenk ay vudn't stand Yeneral's blunder. Cannon on right of dem, Cannon on top of dem, Cannon behind dem, tu, Wolleyed and t'undered. Finally say Captain Brenk, "Ve got enuff, ay tenk, Let's go and getting drenk." 'Bout tventy-sax com back Out of sax hundred. Ven skol deir glory fade? It ban gude charge dey made, Every von vondered. Every von feeling blue, 'Cause dey ban brave old crew, Yolly gude fallers, tu, Dis har sax hundred! EXCELSIOR