For that there is good reason, You thing of craft and treason; You did not touch the grapes, because The grapes you do not like. You get no slice of bacon From me, since you have taken The bird I'd set my heart upon. Away, or I will strike! TOM (_derisively_). Be patient, Mistress Mary, Of broomsticks I am wary: The door is open, and I see What you would now be at. MARY (_angrily_). Away! obey my order, You sneaking, base marauder! I'll teach you to steal birds again! Be off! Take that, and--Scat! [_Exit Tommy at double-quick time, followed by Mary, who strikes with the broom, but does not hit._] ALFRED SELWYN. [Illustration] [Illustration] THE STARLINGS AND THE SPARROWS. "LOOK here, my dear," said a starling to her mate: "in our pretty summer-villa a pair of saucy sparrows have taken up their abode. What shall we do?" "What shall we do?" cried Mr. Starling, who was calmly standing on a fence; "why, rout them out, of course; give them notice to quit." "That we will do," replied Mrs. Starling. "Here, you beggars, you: out of that house! You've no business there. Be off!" "What's all that?" piped Mrs. Sparrow, looking out of her little round doorway. "Go away, you impudent tramp! Don't come near our house." "It is not your house!" said Mr. Starling, springing nimbly to a bough, and confronting Mrs. Sparrow. "It _is_ ours!" cried Mr. Sparrow, looking down from the roof of the house. "I have the title-deeds. Stand up for your rights, my love!" "Yes, stand up for your rights. I'll back you," said Mrs. Sparrow's brother-in-law, taking position on a branch just at the foot of the house. "We'll see about that, you thieves!" cried Mrs. Starling, in a rage, making a dash at Mrs. Sparrow's brother-in-law. But two of Mrs. Sparrow's cousins came to the rescue just then, and attacked Mrs. Starling in the rear. Thereupon Mr. Starling flew at Mrs. Sparrow. Mr. Sparrow, without more delay, went at Mr. Starling. Mrs. Sparrow's brother-in-law paid his respects to Mrs. Starling. There was a lively fight. It ended in the defeat of the sparrows. The starlings were too big for them. The sparrows retreated in good order, and left the starlings to enjoy their triumph. [Illustration] "Now, my dear," said Mr. Starling, "go in, and put the house in order. I'll warrant those vulgar sparrows have made a nice mess in there. Sweep the floors, dust the furniture, and get the beds made. I'll stay here in the garden, and rest myself." "Just like that husband of mine!" muttered Mrs. Starling: "I must do all the work, while he has all the fun. But I suppose there's no help for it."