Adventure stories; England -- Social life and customs -- 18th century -- Fiction; Irish -- England -- Fiction
"No, no," said the young lord. "It isn't a good story, and besides my
father never tells it at all. I misdoubt it's truth."
The Colonel pounded the table. "'Tis true. 'Tis too good a story to be
false. You know the story, Forister?" said he, turning to the
dark-skinned man. The latter shook his head.
"Well, when the Earl was a young man serving with the French he rather
recklessly carried with him some valuable papers relating to some
estates in the North, and once the noble Earl--or Lord Strepp as he
was then--found it necessary, after fording a stream, to hang his
breeches on a bush to dry, and then a certain blackguard of a wild
Irishman in the corps came along and stole--"
But I had arisen and called loudly but with dignity up the long table,
"That, sir, is a lie." The room came still with a bang, if I may be
allowed that expression. Every one gaped at me, and the Colonel's face
slowly went the colour of a tiled roof.
"My father never stole his lordship's breeches, for the good reason
that at the time his lordship had no breeches. 'Twas the other way. My
father--"
Here the two long rows of faces lining the room crackled for a moment,
and then every man burst into a thunderous laugh. But I had flung to
the winds my timidity of a new country, and I was not to be put down
by these clowns.
"'Tis a lie against an honourable man and my father," I shouted. "And
if my father hadn't provided his lordship with breeches, he would have
gone bare, and there's the truth. And," said I, staring at the
Colonel, "I give the lie again. We are never obliged to give it twice
in my country."
The Colonel had been grinning a little, no doubt thinking, along with
everybody else in the room, that I was drunk or crazy; but this last
twist took the smile off his face clean enough, and he came to his
feet with a bound. I awaited him. But young Lord Strepp and Forister
grabbed him and began to argue. At the same time there came down upon
me such a deluge of waiters and pot-boys, and, may be, hostlers, that
I couldn't have done anything if I had been an elephant. They were
frightened out of their wits and painfully respectful, but all the
same and all the time they were bundling me toward the door. "Sir!
Sir! Sir! I beg you, sir! Think of the 'ouse, sir! Sir! Sir! Sir!" And
I found myself out in the hall.
Here I addressed them calmly. "Loose me and takes yourselves off
quickly, lest I grow angry and break some dozen of these wooden
heads." They took me at my word and vanished like ghosts. Then the
landlord came bleating, but I merely told him that I wanted to go to
my chamber, and if anybody inquired for me I wished him conducted up
at once.
In my chamber I had not long to wait. Presently there were steps in
the corridor and a knock at my door. At my bidding the door opened and
Lord Strepp entered. I arose and we bowed. He was embarrassed and
rather dubious.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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