Adventure stories; England -- Social life and customs -- 18th century -- Fiction; Irish -- England -- Fiction
But I had reckoned without the dark-skinned man, Forister. When I
arrived in the lower corridor and was passing through it on my way to
take the air, I found a large group of excited people talking of the
quarrel and the duel that was to be fought at daybreak. I thought it
was a great hubbub over a very small thing, but it seems that the
mainspring of the excitement was the tongue of this black Forister.
"Why, the Irish run naked through their native forests," he was
crying. "Their sole weapon is the great knotted club, with which,
however, they do not hesitate, when in great numbers, to attack lions
and tigers. But how can this barbarian face the sword of an officer of
His Majesty's army?"
Some in the group espied my approach, and there was a nudging of
elbows. There was a general display of agitation, and I marvelled at
the way in which many made it to appear that they had not formed part
of the group at all. Only Forister was cool and insolent. He stared
full at me and grinned, showing very white teeth. "Swords are very
different from clubs, great knotted clubs," he said with admirable
deliberation.
"Even so," rejoined I gravely. "Swords are for gentlemen, while clubs
are to clout the heads of rogues--thus." I boxed his ear with my open
hand, so that he fell against the wall. "I will now picture also the
use of boots by kicking you into the inn yard which is adjacent." So
saying I hurled him to the great front door which stood open, and
then, taking a sort of hop and skip, I kicked for glory and the
Saints.
I do not know that I ever kicked a man with more success. He shot out
as if he had been heaved by a catapult. There was a dreadful uproar
behind me, and I expected every moment to be stormed by the
waiter-and-pot-boy regiment. However I could hear some of the
gentlemen bystanding cry:
"Well done! Well kicked! A record! A miracle!"
But my first hours on English soil contained still other festivities.
Bright light streamed out from the great door, and I could plainly
note what I shall call the arc or arcs described by Forister. He
struck the railing once, but spun off it, and to my great astonishment
went headlong and slap-crash into some sort of an upper servant who
had been approaching the door with both arms loaded with cloaks,
cushions, and rugs.
I suppose the poor man thought that black doom had fallen upon him
from the sky. He gave a great howl as he, Forister, the cloaks,
cushions, and rugs spread out grandly in one sublime confusion.
Some ladies screamed, and a bold commanding voice said: "In the
devil's name what have we here?" Behind the unhappy servant had been
coming two ladies and a very tall gentleman in a black cloak that
reached to his heels. "What have we here?" again cried this tall man,
who looked like an old eagle. He stepped up to me haughtily. I knew
that I was face to face with the Earl of Westport.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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