The Observations of HenryJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
The Observations of Henry
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
"Who wouldn't believe what?" I asked. He had a curious habit, had Henry,
of commenting aloud upon his own unspoken thoughts, thereby bestowing
upon his conversation much of the quality of the double acrostic. We had
been discussing the question whether sardines served their purpose better
as a hors d'oeuvre or as a savoury; and I found myself wondering for the
moment why sardines, above all other fish, should be of an unbelieving
nature; while endeavouring to picture to myself the costume best adapted
to display the somewhat difficult figure of a sardine. Henry put down
his glass, and came to my rescue with the necessary explanation.
"Why, women--that they can tell one baby from another, without its
clothes. I've got a sister, a monthly nurse, and she will tell you for a
fact, if you care to ask her, that up to three months of age there isn't
really any difference between 'em. You can tell a girl from a boy and a
Christian child from a black heathen, perhaps; but to fancy you can put
your finger on an unclothed infant and say: 'That's a Smith, or that's a
Jones,' as the case may be--why, it's sheer nonsense. Take the things
off 'em, and shake them up in a blanket, and I'll bet you what you like
that which is which you'd never be able to tell again so long as you
lived."
I agreed with Henry, so far as my own personal powers of discrimination
might be concerned, but I suggested that to Mrs. Jones or Mrs. Smith
there would surely occur some means of identification.
"So they'd tell you themselves, no doubt," replied Henry; "and of course,
I am not thinking of cases where the child might have a mole or a squint,
as might come in useful. But take 'em in general, kids are as much alike
as sardines of the same age would be. Anyhow, I knew a case where a fool
of a young nurse mixed up two children at an hotel, and to this day
neither of those women is sure that she's got her own."
"Do you mean," I said, "there was no possible means of distinguishing?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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