The Observations of HenryJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
The Observations of Henry
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
In the morning she got an answer that seemed to excite her, and that
afternoon she left; and the next I heard of her was a paragraph in the
newspaper, headed--"Death of the Marchioness of Appleford. Sad
accident." It seemed she had gone for a row on one of the Italian lakes
with no one but a boatman. A squall had come on, and the boat had
capsized. The boatman had swum ashore, but he had been unable to save
his passenger, and her body had never been recovered. The paper reminded
its readers that she had formerly been the celebrated tragic actress,
Caroline Trevelyan, daughter of the well-known Indian judge of that name.
It gave me the blues for a day or two--that bit of news. I had known her
from a baby as you might say, and had taken an interest in her. You can
call it silly, but hotels and restaurants seemed to me less interesting
now there was no chance of ever seeing her come into one again.
I went from Paris to one of the smaller hotels in Venice. The missis
thought I'd do well to pick up a bit of Italian, and perhaps she fancied
Venice for herself. That's one of the advantages of our profession. You
can go about. It was a second-rate sort of place, and one evening, just
before lighting-up time, I had the salle-a-manger all to myself, and had
just taken up a paper when I hears the door open, and I turns round.
I saw "her" coming down the room. There was no mistaking her. She
wasn't that sort.
I sat with my eyes coming out of my head till she was close to me, and
then I says:
"Carrots!" I says, in a whisper like. That was the name that come to me.
"'Carrots' it is," she says, and down she sits just opposite to me, and
then she laughs.
I could not speak, I could not move, I was that took aback, and the more
frightened I looked the more she laughed till "Kipper" comes into the
room. There was nothing ghostly about him. I never see a man look more
as if he had backed the winner.
"Why, it's 'Enery," he says; and he gives me a slap on the back, as
knocks the life into me again.
"I heard you was dead," I says, still staring at her. "I read it in the
paper--'death of the Marchioness of Appleford.'"
"That's all right," she says. "The Marchioness of Appleford is as dead
as a door-nail, and a good job too. Mrs. Captain Kit's my name, nee
'Carrots.'"
"You said as 'ow I'd find someone to suit me 'fore long," says "Kipper"
to me, "and, by Jove! you were right; I 'ave. I was waiting till I found
something equal to her ladyship, and I'd 'ave 'ad to wait a long time,
I'm thinking, if I 'adn't come across this one 'ere"; and he tucks her up
under his arm just as I remember his doing that day he first brought her
into the coffee-shop, and Lord, what a long time ago that was!
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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