The Observations of Henry: Illustrated — John Shaqi
The Observations of Henry: IllustratedJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
The Observations of Henry: Illustrated
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, English; Waiters -- Fiction
“'It's the only calling I can think of,' says he, 'that has got
any element of excitement left in it.'
“'You call seven years at Portland “excitement,” do you?' says I,
thinking of the argument most likely to tell upon him.
“'What's the difference,' answers he, 'between Portland and the
ordinary labouring man's life, except that at Portland you
never need fear being out of work?' He was a rare one to argue.
'Besides,' says he, 'it's only the fools as gets copped. Look at
that diamond robbery in Bond Street, two years ago. Fifty thousand
pounds' worth of jewels stolen, and never a clue to this day! Look
at the Dublin Bank robbery,' says he, his eyes all alight, and
his face flushed like a girl's. 'Three thousand pounds in golden
sovereigns walked away with in broad daylight, and never so much
as the flick of a coat-tail seen. Those are the sort of men I'm
thinking of, not the bricklayer out of work, who smashes a window
and gets ten years for breaking open a cheesemonger's till with
nine and fourpence ha'penny in it.'
“'Yes,' says I, 'and are you forgetting the chap who was nabbed at
Birmingham only last week? He wasn't exactly an amatoor. How long
do think he'll get?'
“'A man like that deserves what he gets,' answers he; 'couldn't
hit a police-man at six yards.'
“'You bloodthirsty young scoundrel,' I says; 'do you mean you
wouldn't stick at murder?'
“'It's all in the game,' says he, not in the least put out. 'I
take my risks, he takes his. It's no more murder than soldiering
is.'
“'It's taking a human creature's life,' I says.
“'Well,' he says, 'what of it? There's plenty more where he comes
from.'
“I tried reasoning with him from time to time, but he wasn't a
sort of boy to be moved from a purpose. His mother was the only
argument that had any weight with him. I believe so long as she
had lived he would have kept straight; that was the only soft spot
in him. But unfortunately she died a couple of years later, and
then I lost sight of Joe altogether. I made enquiries, but no one
could tell me anything. He had just disappeared, that's all.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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