The Observations of Henry: Illustrated — John Shaqi
The Observations of Henry: IllustratedJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
The Observations of Henry: Illustrated
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, English; Waiters -- Fiction
“'That's about it,' says I.
“We talked a bit about old acquaintances and other things, and
then, having finished, he handed me a sovereign and rose to go.
“'Wait a minute,' I says, 'your bill comes to three-and-eight. Say
fourpence for the waiter; that leaves sixteen shillings change,
which I'll ask you to put in your pocket.'
“'As you will,' he says, laughing, though I could see he didn't
like it.
“'And one other thing,' says I. 'We've been sort of pals, and it's
not my business to talk unless I'm spoken to. But I'm a married
man,' I says, 'and I don't consider you the sort worth getting
into trouble for. If I never see you, I know nothing about you.
Understand?'
“He took my tip, and I didn't see him again at that restaurant. I
kept my eye on the paper, but the Westminster Bank thief was never
discovered, and success, no doubt, gave him confidence. Anyhow, I
read of two or three burglaries that winter which I unhesitatingly
put down to Mr. Joseph--I suppose there's style in housebreaking,
as in other things--and early the next spring an exciting bit of
business occurred, which I knew to be his work by the description
of the man.
“He had broken into a big country house during the servants'
supper-hour, and had stuffed his pockets with jewels. One of the
guests, a young officer, coming upstairs, interrupted him just as
he had finished. Joseph threatened the man with his revolver; but
this time it was not a nervous young clerk he had to deal with.
The man sprang at him, and a desperate struggle followed, with the
result that in the end the officer was left with a bullet in his
leg, while Joseph jumped clean through the window, and fell thirty
feet. Cut and bleeding, if not broken, he would never have got
away but that, fortunately for him, a tradesman's cart happened to
be standing at the servants' entrance. Joe was in it, and off like
a flash of greased lightning. How he managed to escape, with all
the country in an uproar, I can't tell you; but he did it. The
horse and cart, when found sixteen miles off, were neither worth
much.
“That, it seems, sobered him down for a bit, and nobody heard
any more of him till nine months later, when he walked into the
Monico, where I was then working, and held out his hand to me as
bold as brass.
“'It's all right,' says he, 'it's the hand of an honest man.'
“'It's come into your possession very recently then,' says I.
“He was dressed in a black frock-coat and wore whiskers. If I
hadn't known him, I should have put him down for a parson out of
work.
“He laughs. 'I'll tell you all about it,' he says.
“'Not here,' I answers, 'because I'm too busy; but if you like to
meet me this evening, and you're talking straight--'
“'Straight as a bullet,' says he. 'Come and have a bit of dinner
with me at the Craven; it's quiet there, and we can talk. I've
been looking for you for the last week.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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