The Observations of Henry: IllustratedJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
The Observations of Henry: Illustrated
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, English; Waiters -- Fiction
“There was a fellow,” continued Henry, “as used to work with me
a good many years ago now at a small hotel in the City. He was
a waiter, like myself--not a bad sort of chap, though a bit of
a toff in his off-hours. He'd been engaged for some two or three
years to one of the chambermaids. A pretty, gentle-looking little
thing she was, with big childish eyes, and a voice like the
pouring out of water. They are strange things, women; one can
never tell what they are made of from the taste of them. And while
I was there, it having been a good season for both of them, they
thought they'd risk it and get married. They did the sensible
thing, he coming back to his work after the week's holiday, and
she to hers; the only difference being that they took a couple of
rooms of their own in Middleton Row, from where in summer-time you
can catch the glimpse of a green tree or two, and slept out.
“The first few months they were as happy as a couple in a play,
she thinking almost as much of him as he thought of himself, which
must have been a comfort to both of them, and he as proud of her
as if he made her himself. And then some fifteenth cousin or so of
his, a man he had never heard of before, died in New Zealand and
left him a fortune.
“That was the beginning of his troubles, and hers too. I don't say
it was enough to buy a peerage, but to a man accustomed to dream
of half-crown tips it seemed an enormous fortune. Anyhow, it was
sufficient to turn his head and give him ideas above his station.
His first move, of course, was to chuck his berth and set fire to
his dress suit, which, being tolerably greasy, burned well. Had
he stopped there nobody could have blamed him. I've often thought
myself that I would willingly give ten years of my life, provided
anybody wanted them, which I don't see how they should, to put
my own behind the fire. But he didn't. He took a house in a mews,
with the front door in a street off Grosvenor Square, furnished
it like a second-class German restaurant, dressed himself like
a bookmaker, and fancied that with the help of a few shady City
chaps and a broken-down swell or two he had gathered round him, he
was fairly on the road to Park Lane and the House of Lords.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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