The Observations of Henry: IllustratedJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
The Observations of Henry: Illustrated
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, English; Waiters -- Fiction
In the morning she got an answer that seemed to excite her,
and that afternoon she left; and the next I heard of her was a
paragraph in the newspaper, headed--“Death of the Marchioness of
Appleford. Sad accident.” It seemed she had gone for a row on one
of the Italian lakes with no one but a boatman. A squall had come
on, and the boat had capsized. The boatman had swum ashore, but he
had been unable to save his passenger, and her body had never been
recovered. The paper reminded its readers that she had formerly
been the celebrated tragic actress, Caroline Trevelyan, daughter
of the well-known Indian judge of that name.
It gave me the blues for a day or two--that bit of news. I had
known her from a baby as you might say, and had taken an interest
in her. You can call it silly, but hotels and restaurants seemed
to me less interesting now there was no chance of ever seeing her
come into one again.
I went from Paris to one of the smaller hotels in Venice. The
missis thought I'd do well to pick up a bit of Italian, and
perhaps she fancied Venice for herself. That's one of the
advantages of our profession. You can go about. It was a
second-rate sort of place, and one evening, just before
lighting-up time, I had the salle-a-manger all to myself, and
had just taken up a paper when I hears the door open, and I turns
round.
I saw “her” coming down the room. There was no mistaking her. She
wasn't that sort.
I sat with my eyes coming out of my head till she was close to me,
and then I says:
“Carrots!” I says, in a whisper like. That was the name that come
to me.
“'Carrots' it is,” she says, and down she sits just opposite to
me, and then she laughs.
I could not speak, I could not move, I was that took aback, and
the more frightened I looked the more she laughed till “Kipper”
comes into the room. There was nothing ghostly about him. I never
see a man look more as if he had backed the winner.
[Illustration: 0047]
“Why, it's 'Enery,” he says; and he gives me a slap on the back,
as knocks the life into me again.
“I heard you was dead,” I says, still staring at her. “I read it
in the paper--'death of the Marchioness of Appleford.'”
“That's all right,” she says. “The Marchioness of Appleford is
as dead as a door-nail, and a good job too. Mrs. Captain Kit's my
name, nee 'Carrots.'”
“You said as 'ow I'd find someone to suit me 'fore long,” says
“Kipper” to me, “and, by Jove! you were right; I 'ave. I was
waiting till I found something equal to her ladyship, and I'd 'ave
'ad to wait a long time, I'm thinking, if I 'adn't come across
this one 'ere”; and he tucks her up under his arm just as
I remember his doing that day he first brought her into the
coffee-shop, and Lord, what a long time ago that was!
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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