_Old_ Laroon _laughing_, _Young_ Laroon. _Yo. Lar._ You are merry, Sir. _Old. Lar._ Merry, Sir! Ay, Sir! I am merry, Sir. Would you have your Father sad, you Rascal? Have you a mind to bury him in his Youth? _Yo. Lar._ Pardon me, Sir, I rather wished to know the happy Occasion of your Mirth. _Old Lar._ The Occasion of my Mirth, Sir, is the saddest Sight that ever Mortal beheld. _Yo. Lar._ A very odd Occasion indeed. _Old Lar._ Very odd truly. It is the Sight of an old honest Whoremaster in a Fit of Despair, and a damned Rogue of a Priest riding him to the Devil. _Yo. Lar._ Ay, Sir, but I have seen a more melancholy Sight. _Old Lar._ Ha! what can that be? _Yo. Lar._ A fine young Lady in a Fit of Love, and a Priest keeping her from her Lover. _Old Lar._ How? _Yo. Lar._ The Explanation of which is, that Father Martin hath put off our Match for a Week. _Old. Lar._ Put off your Match with _Isabel_! _Yo. Lar._ Even so, Sir. _Old Lar._ Well I never have made a Hole in a Gown yet, I never have tapped a Priest: but if I don't let out some reverend Blood before the Sun sets, may I never See him rise again. I'll carbonade the Villain, I'll make a Ragout for the Devil's Supper of him. _Yo. Lar._ Let me intreat you, Sir, to do nothing rashly, as long as I am safe in the Faith of my _Isabel_. _Old Lar._ I tell you, Sirrah, no Man is safe in the Faith of a Mistress, no one is secure of a Woman till he is in Bed with her. Had there been any Security in the Faith of a Mistress, I had been at present married to half the Dutchesses in _France_. I no more rely on what a Woman says out of a Church, than on what a Priest says in it. _Yo. Lar._ Pardon me, Sir: but I should have very little Appetite to marry the Woman whom I had such an Opinion of. _Old Lar._ You had an Opinion of! What Business have you to have any Opinion. Is it not enough that I have an Opinion of her, that is of her Fortune--But I suppose you are one of those romantick, whining Coxcombs, that are in Love with a Woman behind her Back: Sirrah, I have had two Women lawfully, and two thousand unlawfully, and never was in Love in my Life. _Yo. Lar._ Well, Sir, then I am happy, that we both agree in the same Person; I like the Woman, and you her Fortune. _Old. Lar._ Yes, you Dog, and I'd have you secure her as soon as you can: for if a greater Fortune should be found out in _Toulon_, I'd make you marry her--So go find out your Mistress, and stick close to her, and I'll go seek the Priest, whom, if I can find, I will stick close to with a Vengeance. SCENE IX. _Another Apartment._ Jourdain, Martin. _Jourd._ Alas! Father, there is one Sin sticks by me more than any I have confessed to you. It is so enormous a one my Shame hath prevented me discovering it--I have often concealed my Crimes from my Confessor. _Mart._ That is a damnable Sin indeed. It seemeth to argue a Distrust of the Church, the greatest of all Crimes; a Sin I fear the Church cannot forgive.