The Old Inns of Old England, Volume 1 (of 2): A Picturesque Account of the Ancient and Storied Hostelries of Our Own CountryHarper, Charles G. (Charles George)
History
The Old Inns of Old England, Volume 1 (of 2): A Picturesque Account of the Ancient and Storied Hostelries of Our Own Country
Harper, Charles G. (Charles George)
England -- Social life and customs; Hotels -- England
A hundred and fifty years later than _Piers Plowman_ we get another
picture of an English ale-house, by no less celebrated a poet. This famous
house, the “Running Horse,” still stands at Leatherhead, in Surrey, beside
the long, many-arched bridge that there crosses the river Mole at one of
its most picturesque reaches. It was kept in the time of Henry the Seventh
by that very objectionable landlady, Elynor Rummyng, whose peculiarities
are the subject of a laureate’s verse. Elynor Rummyng, and John Skelton,
the poet-laureate who hymned her person, her beer, and her customers, both
flourished in the beginning of the sixteenth century. Skelton, whose
genius was wholly satiric, no doubt, in his _Tunning_ (that is to say, the
brewing) of _Elynor Rummyng_, emphasised all her bad points, for it is
hardly credible that even the rustics of the Middle Ages would have rushed
so enthusiastically for her ale if it had been brewed in the way he
describes.
His long, rambling jingles, done in grievous spelling, picture her as a
very ugly and filthy old person, with a face sufficiently grotesque to
unnerve a strong man:
For her viságe
It would aswage
A manne’s couráge.
Her lothely lere
Is nothyng clere,
But vgly of chere,
Droupy and drowsy,
Scuruy and lowsy;
Her face all bowsy,
Comely crynkled,
Woundersly wrynkled,
Lyke a rost pygges eare
Brystled wyth here.
Her lewde lyppes twayne,
They slauer, men sayne,
Lyke a ropy rayne:
A glummy glayre:
She is vgly fayre:
Her nose somdele hoked,
And camously croked,
Neuer stoppynge,
But euer droppynge:
Her skin lose and slacke,
Grayned like a sacke;
Wyth a croked backe.
Her eyen jowndy
Are full vnsoundy,
For they are blered;
And she grey-hered:
Jawed like a jetty,
A man would haue pytty
To se how she is gumbed
Fyngered and thumbed
Gently joynted,
Gresed and annoynted
Vp to the knockels;
The bones of her huckels
Lyke as they were with buckles
Together made fast;
Her youth is farre past.
Foted lyke a plane,
Legged lyke a crane;
And yet she wyll iet
Lyke a silly fet.
* * * *
Her huke of Lincoln grene,
It had been hers I wene,
More than fourty yere;
And so it doth apere.
For the grene bare thredes
Loke lyke sere wedes,
Wyddered lyke hay,
The woll worne away:
And yet I dare saye
She thinketh herselfe gaye.
* * * *
She dryueth downe the dewe
With a payre of heles
As brode as two wheles;
She hobles as a gose
Wyth her blanket trose
Ouer the falowe:
Her shone smered wyth talowe,
Gresed vpon dyrt
That bandeth her skyrt.
[Illustration: ELYNOR RUMMYNG.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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