Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction
"Yes, but as my chivalrous miracle had saved me from damage, I was found
unconsciously beautiful (which I have always heard is the most graceful
way of wearing your beauty). I soon came to myself with the aid of a
dark-eyed doctor, and I then learnt that the old gentleman had been too
weak to sustain the shock and that his poor old pulse had ceased to
beat. My rescuers had not disturbed _Threepenny Bits_ from its position
'twixt my hand and heart in case I should die and need it; so when the
line was cleared and I was sent on to London after a pleasant lunch with
the dark-eyed doctor, I had the journal to read after all, despite the
discourtesy of the deceased. When I arrived at Paddington I found
Richard Westbourne walking the platform like Hamlet's ghost, white and
trembling. He was scanning the carriages feverishly, as the train glided
in with its habitual nonchalance.
"'My darling!' he cried when he caught sight of my dainty hat with its
sweet trimmings. 'Thank Heaven!' He twisted the door violently open and
kissed me before the crowd. Fortunately I had my lovely spotted veil all
down, so he only pressed the tulle to my lips.
"'What is the matter?' I said ingenuously.
"'The accident!' he gasped. Weren't you in the accident?'
"'Of course I was. But I was not very much crumpled. If I had sat in the
other corner I should have been killed!"
"'My heroine!' he cried. 'How brave of you!' He made as if he would
rumple my hair but I drew back.
"'Were you waiting for me?' I asked.
"'Of course. Hours and hours. O the agony of it! See, here is the
evening paper! It gives you as dead.'
"'Where?' I cried, nervously. His trembling forefinger pointed to the
place. 'A beautiful young lady was also extricated in an unconscious
condition from this carriage.'
"'Isn't it wonderful the news should be in London before me?' I
murmured. 'But I suppose they will have names and fuller particulars in
a later edition.'
"'Of course. But fancy my having to be in London, unable to get to you
for love or money!'
"'Yes, it was very hard for me to be there all alone,' I murmured. 'But
please run and see after my luggage, there are three portmanteaus and a
little black one, and three bonnet boxes, and two parasols, and call a
hansom, oh--and a brown paper parcel, and a long narrow cardboard
box--and get me the latest editions of the evening papers--and please
see that the driver isn't drunk, and don't take a knock-kneed horse or
one that paws the ground, you know those hansom doors fly open and shoot
you out like rubbish--I do so hate them--and oh! Richard, don't forget
those novels from Mudie's,--they're done up with a strap. Three bonnet
boxes, remember, and _all_ the evening papers, mind.'
"When we were bowling homewards he kept expressing his joy by word and
deed, so that I was unable to read my papers. At last, annoyed, I said:
'You wouldn't be so glad if you knew that my resurrection cost three
thousand pounds.'
"'How do you mean?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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