Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction
"'Why, if I had died, somebody would have had three thousand pounds.
This number of _Threepenny Bits_ would have been found on my body, and
would have entitled my heir to that amount of assurance money. I need
not tell you who my heir is, nor to whom I had left my little all.'
"I looked into his face and from the tenderness that overflowed it I saw
he fancied himself the favored mortal. There is no end to the conceit of
young men. A sensible fellow would have known at once that my brother
was the only person reasonably entitled to my scanty belongings.
However, there is no good done by disturbing a lover's complacency.
"'I do not want your money,' he answered, again passionately pressing my
tulle veil to my lips. 'I infinitely prefer your life.'
"'What a bloodthirsty highwayman!'
"'I shall steal another kiss. I would rather have you than all the gold
in the world.'
"'Still, gold is the next best thing,' I said, smiling at his
affectionateness which my absence had evidently fostered. 'So being on
the point of death, as I thought, I resolved to make death worth dying,
and leave a heap of gold to the man I loved. This number of _Threepenny
Bits_ was not mine originally. When the crash occurred it was being read
by the old gentleman in the opposite corner but his next of kin is a
hypocritical young scapegrace (so he told me) and I thought it would be
far nicer for _my_ heir to come in for the money. So I took it from his
body the very instant before I fainted dead away!'
"'My heroine!' he cried again. 'So you thought of your Richard even at
the point of death. What a sweet assurance of your love!'
"'Yes, an assurance of three thousand pounds,' I answered, laughing
merrily. 'And now, perhaps, you will let me read the details of the
catastrophe. The reporters seem to know ever so much more about it than
I do. It's getting dusk and I can hardly see--I wonder what was the name
of old grizzly-growler--ah! here it is--"The pocket-book contained
letters addressed to Josiah Twaddon, Esquire, and----"'
"'Twaddon, did you say?' gasped Richard, clutching the paper
frantically.
"'Yes--don't! You've torn it. Twaddon, I can see it plainly.'
"'Does it give his address?' Richard panted.
"'Yes,' I said, surprised. I was just going on to read that, '4,
Bucklesbury Buildings----'
"'Great heavens!' he cried.
"'What is it? Why are you so pale and agitated? Was he anything to you.
Ah, I guess it--by my prophetic soul, your uncle!'
"'Yes,' he answered bitterly. 'My uncle! My mother's brother! Wretched
woman, what have you done?'
"My heart was beating painfully and I felt hot all over, but outwardly I
froze.
"'You know what I have done,' I replied icily.
"'Yes, robbed me of three thousand pounds!' he cried.
"'How dare you say that?' I answered indignantly. 'Why, it was for you I
meant them.'
"The statement was not, perhaps, strictly accurate, but my indignation
was sufficiently righteous to cover a whole pack of lies.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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