Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction
"Yes, father, do not be angry with me. I love him dearly. Oh, do not
spurn me from you, but I love him with my whole heart and soul, and I
shall never marry any other man but him." The poor little girl burst
into a paroxysm of weeping.
"Then you _will_ marry him?" gasped the millionaire.
"No, father," she sobbed solemnly, "that is an illegitimate deduction
from my proposition. He is the one man on this earth I could never bring
myself to marry."
"You are mad!"
"No, father. I am only mathematical. I will never marry a man who does
not love me. And don't you see that, as I love him, the odds are that he
doesn't love me?"
"But he tells me he does!"
"What is his bare assertion--weighed against the doctrine of
probability! How many girls do you suppose Silverdale has met in his
varied career?"
"A thousand, I dare say."
"Ah, that's only reckoning English Society (and theatres). And then he
has seen Society (and theatres) in Paris, Berlin, Rome, Boston, a
hundred places! If we put the figure at three thousand it will be
moderate. Here am I, a single girl----"
"Who oughtn't to remain so," growled the millionaire.
"One single girl. How wildly improbable that out of three thousand
girls, Silverdale should just fall in love with me. It is 2999 to 1
against. Then there is the probability that he is not in love at
all--which makes the odds 5999 to 1. The problem is exactly analogous to
one which you will find in any Algebra. Out of a sack containing three
thousand coins, what are the odds that a man will draw the one marked
coin?"
"The comparison of yourself to a marked coin is correct enough," said
the millionaire, thinking of the files of fortune-hunters to whom he had
given the sack. "Otherwise you are talking nonsense."
"Then Pascal, Laplace, Lagrange, De Moivre talked nonsense," said Lillie
hotly; "but I have not finished. We must also leave open the possibility
that the man will not be tempted to draw out any coin whatsoever. The
odds against the marked coin being drawn out are thus 5999 to 1. The
odds against Silverdale returning my affection are 6000 to 1. As Butler
rightly points out, probability is the only guide to conduct, which is,
we know from Matthew Arnold, three-fourths of life. Am I to risk ruining
three-fourths of my life, in defiance of the unerring dogmas of the
Doctrine of Chances? No, father, do not exact this sacrifice from me.
Ask me anything you please, and I will grant it--oh! so gladly--but do
not, oh, do not ask me to marry the man I love!"
The millionaire stroked her hair, and soothed her in piteous silence. He
had made his pile in pig-iron, and had not science enough to grapple
with the situation.
"Do you mean to say," he said at last, "that because you love a man, he
can't love you?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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