The Old Soldier's Story: Poems and Prose SketchesRiley, James Whitcomb
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The Old Soldier's Story: Poems and Prose Sketches
Riley, James Whitcomb
American poetry; American wit and humor
"Got a live snake-feeder," said the boy, ignoring the parental
inquiry. "See him down there in the bottom, 'ith all th' other uns on
top of him. Thist watch him now, an' you kin see him pant. I kin. Yes,
an' I got a beetle 'at's purt' nigh alive, too--on'y he can't pull in
his other wings. See 'em?" continued the boy, with growing enthusiasm,
twirling the big-mouthed bottle like a kaleidoscope. "Hate beetles!
'cause they allus act so big, an' make s'much fuss about theirselves,
an' don't know nothin' neither! Bet ef I had as many wings as a beetle
I wouldn't let no boy my size knock the stuffin' out o' me with no
bunch o' weeds, like I done him!"
"Howd'ye know you wouldn't?" said Mr. Judkins, austerely, biting his
nails and winking archly to himself.
"W'y, I know I wouldn't," said the boy, "'cause I'd keep up in the air
where I could fly, an' wouldn't come low down ut all--bumpin' around
'mongst them bushes, an' buzzin' against things, an' buttin' my brains
out a-tryin' to git thue fence cracks."
"'Spect you'd ruther be a snake-feeder, wouldn't you, Bud?" said Mr.
Judkins suggestively. "Snake-feeders has got about enough wings to
suit you, ef you want more'n one pair, and ever' day's a picnic with a
snake-feeder, you know. Nothin' to do but jes' loaf up and down the
crick, and roost on reeds and cat-tails, er fool around a feller's
fish-line and light on the cork and bob up and down with it till she
goes clean under, don't you know?"
"Don't want to be no snake-feeder, neither," said the boy, "'cause
they gits gobbled up, first thing they know, by these 'ere big green
bullfrogs ut they can't ever tell from the skum till they've lit right
in their mouth--and then they're goners! No, sir;" continued the boy,
drawing an extra quinine-bottle from another pocket, and holding it up
admiringly before his father's eyes: "There's the feller in there ut
I'd ruther be than have a pony!"
"W'y, it's a nasty p'izen spider!" exclaimed Mr. Judkins, pushing back
the bottle with affected abhorrence, "and he's alive, too!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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