The Old Tobacco Shop: A True Account of What Befell a Little Boy in Search of AdventureBowen, William
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The Old Tobacco Shop: A True Account of What Befell a Little Boy in Search of Adventure
Bowen, William
Fantasy literature
Freddie looked at the door. He hadn't seen anybody, but after all that
talk there must have been somebody there; he couldn't be sure; probably
he had been mistaken about it; grown-up people ought to know what they
were talking about; perhaps he _had_ seen somebody. He hesitated.
"I--I think so; I believe so; yes, sir."
"Don't you fool yourself, young man. You can't smoke cigarettes if you
ever want to grow up. Look at me. Do you see this?" He turned his back
and reached over his shoulder to his hump. "Cigarettes. That's what done
it. Cigarettes. I smoked 'em along with my bottle of milk, regular, when
I was a kid, and look at me now, not much bigger than Mr. Punch out
there. Cigarettes. Maybe you might think it was the bottle o' milk done
it, instead of the cigarettes, being as they was at the same time; but
don't you never believe it. Cigarettes! You keep off of 'em. Now
pipe-tobacco! That's a different thing. If I'd only stuck to a pipe,
along with that bottle o' milk, look how high I'd 'a' been now! What
kind o' tobacco did you say your farver wanted? Housewife's Favorite?"
"No, sir," said Freddie. "My farver he wants half a pound of Cage-Roach
Mitchner."
"That's it," said Toby. "I don't see how I come to forget that name.
Your father's a man o' good common sense. Nothing like Cage-Roach. Here
it is." He turned to the shelf behind him and mounted a little ladder
and took down a large tin. While he was scooping out the tobacco at the
counter and weighing it on the scales and doing it up, he was singing to
himself, and Freddie stared at him with rapt attention.
"Some day," said Mr. Littleback, without pausing in his work or looking
at Freddie, "them eyes of yourn will pop right out of your head, if you
ain't careful. Did you ever hear that song?"
"No, sir," said Freddie.
"Would you like to hear it?"
"Yes, sir," said Freddie.
"It's about two old codgers--friends of mine; they come in here regular.
One of 'em's a good customer and pays spot cash; the other one never
buys nothing; and I can't say which one of 'em I like worse. Anyway,
here's how it goes:
"Oh-h-h! There was an old codger, and he had a wooden leg,
And he never bought tobacco when tobacco he could beg."
"Don't you never let yourself get into that habit, young man. Always buy
your tobacco fair and square. I've known 'em--this feller and many
another one--never have a grain o' tobacco left in their pouch--just
used up the very last bit two minutes before, and always a-beggin' a
pipeful, and right here in my own shop too, where I _sell_ tobacco, mind
you--I'd like 'em better if they sneaked in and _stole_ it, I would, any
day. But the other one! I don't know that I'd want to be him neither, if
I had to choose between 'em,--however--
"Another old codger, as sly as a fox!
And he always had tobacco in his old tobacco box.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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