The old vicarage : $b A novelHubback, Mrs. (Catherine-Anne Austen)
General
The old vicarage : $b A novel
Hubback, Mrs. (Catherine-Anne Austen)
English fiction -- 19th century
“Well, quite well.”
“Hilary!”
“Well, dear, what?”
“Tell me! oh, tell me!――in another week I may not ask, or even think
of him――tell me now in mercy――” she put her hand to her head.
“Yes, but what am I to tell you, Dora? he is well, quite well.”
“Tell me what he thinks of me; tell me or I shall go mad! Does he hate
me, despise me, as an idle, giddy, trifling coquette, a heartless,
ambitious girl, content to sell my hand and person? Does he not loath
me from his heart? He must, he can not help it.”
“No, indeed.”
“Has he mentioned my name to you? What did he say? What _could_ he say
but words of contempt and scorn!”
“No, neither contempt nor scorn; far from it he says. I will read you
what he says;” and turning to her desk, Hilary presently produced the
letter containing the allusions to Dora’s marriage. She read his
message, while Dora, listening, held her breath as if afraid to lose a
word.
“Good, noble, honorable Maurice, too good, too kind,” said she at
length, “happy, happy for you that you are not bound to so worthless,
so feeble a creature as I am! Ah! I am glad, glad, most glad that you
are not miserable. Read it again, Hilary, once more; or no, let me see
for once, only once, his blessed writing.” She caught the letter from
her friend, and began to read it herself. Mrs. Hepburn remonstrated,
but Dora held the letter with both hands, and read, eagerly devouring
the words with her eyes, and totally deaf to her companion’s voice.
Then, when she had done, she passionately kissed the paper, pressed it
to her heart, looked at it again; and again, with streaming eyes, put
her lips to the signature.
“Wretch, wretch that I am!” she cried, frantically; “oh, Hilary! I
shall die, my heart will break, I know I shall! I often have a burning
pain here in my bosom, or my head, which can not last; iron, flint,
granite, breaks or pulverizes; surely human life is not harder, not
more tenacious than those. Tell me, shall I not die?”
“Yes, Dora, one day; we must all die once: but death is a solemn
thing, not to be met unprepared; and these wild and passionate
expressions are not a fitting preparation for this great reality. Give
me back that letter.”
“No, let me keep it; it is mine, for me, concerns me most.”
“You must not, Dora; remember, you are to be another man’s wife next
week.”
“Next week! ah! when I am, I will send it to you; let me keep it now.”
“To keep it now ought not to be any object to you. Give it me back. If
you value it, you must not retain it; if you do not, you will not wish
to keep it.”
“Till the last――till my――my wedding-day!” said she with a ghastly
smile.
“If you wish for happiness, if you value peace, return it!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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