The old vicarage : $b A novelHubback, Mrs. (Catherine-Anne Austen)
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The old vicarage : $b A novel
Hubback, Mrs. (Catherine-Anne Austen)
English fiction -- 19th century
“Happiness! Peace! we have long parted company――I lost them when the
_Erratic_ sailed; happiness, as the wife of a man who does not care
for me――for whom I have no regard; peace with a husband who weds me
while his heart is another’s, knowing, too, that mine is pre-engaged;
who seeks me from pique; whom I have accepted from cowardice. Yes,
ours will be a home of happiness and peace, the hearth of domestic
felicity, the very center of all true and happy virtues.”
“Dora! Dora! how can you talk so!” cried Hilary, shocked and dismayed.
“Talk! ask me how I can act so! what does talking signify! ah me!”
“But, Dora, is it possible that with such sentiments, such feelings,
you can be really going to marry? oh, think before you take an
irrevocable step; before you deceive yourself and him, too far!”
“I am not deceiving him, Hilary; he knows what he is about; come, I
will tell you all, only listen.”
She threw herself on the ground at her friend’s feet, her favorite
attitude, and poured out her story.
“We parted coldly, I was offended, vain, foolish thing! I
misunderstood the very devotion of his heart; then came Charles
Huyton, tempting me with wily words. I knew he did not love me. I knew
it was you he worshiped; I saw through his motive, and trusting that
he would himself weary of so unsuitable a union, I said yes! I was
mad――provoked; but I did not mean it, I thought I should have escaped.
But I knew not his resolution in evil; his stern purpose, his dark
determination; day after day have the toils closed round me; the net
in which I wound myself has entangled me more. I can not shake myself
free; he _will_ marry me; and I can not, dare not, say _no_. Oh,
Hilary! do you know his dark expression, did you ever see how his eyes
can glow and sparkle with gloomy fire? Once I did not dislike him; now
I dread him beyond measure, and compared with Maurice! don’t tell him
how miserable I am, it would make him sad; at least, not till it is
over! when I am dead, then, then, tell him that my heart was broken.
Ah, Hilary!”
“Dear Dora! what can I say to you? do not go on with this; not for
Maurice, not for his sake, but for your own. For your conscience, your
honor, your virtue, do not risk all by such a fatal step. Think,
pray――pray for strength, for light, for guidance, and stop before it
is too late.”
“Pray! what, when about to do what is so wrong?” murmured Dora; “would
such prayers be heard?”
“Yes; prayer to do better, to have grace to repent! prayer is always
heard.”
“Nay, then, I will pray for death! that would be the greatest boon to
me.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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