The old vicarage : $b A novelHubback, Mrs. (Catherine-Anne Austen)
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The old vicarage : $b A novel
Hubback, Mrs. (Catherine-Anne Austen)
English fiction -- 19th century
“You do not know yourself, Hilary: you love me well, I know it; but
you would not love me so much, were it not your duty. You would not
have twined all those warm feelings round me, had you not been my
wife; and you would not have had to suffer the grief which I feel it
will cost you, when that day, not very far distant, comes, which will
part us on earth.”
“Are you worse?” said she, the whiteness of her cheeks speaking her
sudden alarm.
“It is coming, Hilary; it came slowly, imperceptibly at first; now I
can feel its advances from day to day. Can you bear it, love?――we must
part!”
“For a time, only for a time,” she murmured.
“For a time, dear love! yes, that is the comfort, we shall meet again;
but you are young, my darling wife! you have perhaps a long life
before you, and I shall not trouble you many days. Do not be too
unhappy when I am gone; remember your promise long ago, to bear it
bravely, and when time has softened your grief, Hilary, do not think
that you will please me by remaining unprotected and forlorn. Do not
let your respect for my memory, fetter your will or your actions. Ah!
you do not like to hear me speak of it, but by-and-by, you will
remember what I have said. There, do not sob so; did you not know from
the very first, that we must part soon?”
“Ah, I thought――I hoped――a little, little longer――!”
“And I am glad I shall not linger to see your cheek grow pale with
care and watching, to keep you from rest night and day, as I do now;
ah, Hilary, you have made me happy, so happy! But would you wish the
deed undone which laid me here? I do not.”
“No, no,” cried she, with energy, “do not be unhappy about me. God,
who takes you from me, will give me strength to bear the loss. Do not
think of it. While you _are_ with me still, let me forget all but your
dear presence; we will not anticipate sorrow. To-day is ours;
to-morrow is in His hands, who will do all things right.”
They all saw now, the end was drawing near; Maurice, Gwyneth, Lord
Dunsmore, they all noticed the increasing weakness, the gradual
change; they left the sick chamber with anxiety, they returned with
trembling; they feared any hour would end it all. Gwyneth especially
was devoted to her sister; her unceasing cares and consideration could
not be excelled by Hilary’s attention to her patient; every household
duty was fulfilled, every wish almost forestalled by the thoughtful
girl; and yet she fancied she did nothing, and was surprised if fear
was expressed lest she should be tired.
Lord Dunsmore sometimes expressed this concern, during those short
intervals when Gwyneth allowed herself the relaxation of conversation
with him, a conversation of which Hilary was usually the topic.
“What have I to tire me?” said she; “you should see Hilary; what a
wife she is!”
“I admit as a wife she is unequaled,” replied he; “but I know one
woman who might compare with her.”
“Do you? I could hardly believe it,” said Gwyneth, innocently
surprised.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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