The old vicarage : $b A novelHubback, Mrs. (Catherine-Anne Austen)
General
The old vicarage : $b A novel
Hubback, Mrs. (Catherine-Anne Austen)
English fiction -- 19th century
For a moment she hesitated; she deliberated not for herself, but for
those most dear to her. Then, too, there was his plea. Could it be
necessary to insist on his leaving home and home duties, renouncing
his occupations and pursuits, and all for her? Had she any right to
require such a sacrifice? She pondered the question again and again:
her head was bewildered, and she could decide on nothing. Time was
flying quickly; the answer must be written. Oh! for a friend to guide
and counsel her.
Nay, but she had a friend; One who would not leave her; One always
accessible, always loving and patient. And there was a rule, too, a
rule to guide her, if she could but discover it; she knew that she
must not expect sudden illuminations, divine impulses to direct her;
such were not the answers to her prayers for which she had been taught
to look. Her line of duty was marked out, and she could see it,
doubtless, clear and distinct, if she could but remove the intervening
mists and shadows, which passion and prejudice, imaginations,
mistrust, or too great anxiety for the future had thrown across it.
She prayed to be guided aright, and then quietly set herself to review
the case, trusting that she should eventually see what the right was.
The cloud passed from her eyes; she saw the snare laid before her;
stepped aside, and thanked God that she had been saved from sin and
danger.
“Thou shalt not do evil that good may come of it.”
There was the rule; and plausible as the temptation had appeared, she
saw now that it was _evil_. Yes, _evil_ to give her hand without her
heart, to sell herself for any earthly good, either to herself or
others; to make the solemn vow to love, honor, and obey, one toward
whom the two former seemed impossible, and the latter might be
incompatible with other duties. What, if she shrank from the claims
now existing on her, should she therefore form others more
indissoluble, more exacting still? If she had not strength to act a
daughter’s part, should she take the responsibilities of a wife also?
Would she have more time to attend to her father’s wants, when she had
added the cares of an extensive establishment, and a large dependent
neighborhood? What madness to dream of such a change! And would the
luxuries, the indulgences of wealth be a real blessing, a safe
acquisition to those for whom she had been tempted to procure them.
Whose words then were those who spake――“How hardly shall they that
have riches enter into the kingdom of heaven?” Did not He know, or
could He be mistaken?
She wept! not that she must resign the prospect, but that it should
have proved a temptation to her; and seizing a sheet of paper, she
hastily wrote the answer which should decide this point as she hoped
forever.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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