The One Woman: A Story of Modern UtopiaDixon, Thomas, Jr.
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The One Woman: A Story of Modern Utopia
Dixon, Thomas, Jr.
Utopian fiction; Utopias -- Fiction
"I waked this morning with the burden of all this week's horror
choking me, waked to the consciousness that in a few hours thousands
of faces would be looking up to me with hungry souls to be fed.
Well, I had nothing to give them except my own heart's blood, and
so to-day I tore my heart open for them to devour it. True, I didn't
preach the Bible except as its truth had passed into my own soul's
experiences. When I preach such sermons I always quit with the sense
of utter helplessness, exhaustion and failure. Could my bitterest
enemy read my heart in that hour he would cry out for pity.
"I never so felt the crushing burden of all that crowd of people
as to-day. I've heard so much of their sorrows and struggles the
past week. I felt that the city was a great beast in some vast
arena of time, that I was alone, naked and unarmed, on the sands,
struggling with it for the life of the people, while my enemies
looked on. As never before, I heard the rush of its half-crazed
millions, its crash and roar, saw its fierce brutality, its lust,
its cruelty, its senseless scramble for pleasure, its indifference
to truth, its millions of to-day but a symbol of the millions
gone before and the trampling millions to come, and I felt I was
a failure. I felt that I was pitching straws against a hurricane,
only to find them blown back into my face. I came down out of that
pulpit with the weariness of a thousand years crushing my tired
body and soul, feeling that I could never speak again, or struggle
against the tide any more--that I was broken, bruised and done for
all time, and I came home feeling so--"
He paused a moment and a sigh caught his voice. His wife's face
had softened and a tear was quivering on her long eyelashes.
"I came home thus worn out to-night hoping for a word of cheer,
yet knowing it would be days before I could recover from the sheer
nerve-agony I had endured. What a reception you have given me! And
for what? A beautiful woman stopped to tell me my message had not
been in vain, that it had made for her a light on life's way, and
that the prayers in which I had tried to realise as my own, the
people's thoughts and hopes and fears had been a revelation to her,
and because I smiled--"
His wife was again staring at him with the glitter of jealousy. He
saw it and ceased to speak.
He suddenly sprang to his feet and walked to the door. Taking down
his hat and light overcoat from the rack, he said, as though to
himself:
"We will spend the night under different roofs."
As he passed toward the door there was a faint cry fiom within
scarcely louder than a whisper, tense with agony and pitiful in
its pleading accents;
"Frank, dear, please come back!"
But when she summoned strength to rush to the door, crying with
terror she had never known before "Frank! Frank!" he had turned
the corner and disappeared.
CHAPTER II
VISIONS IN THE NIGHT
Gordon walked rapidly with the quick stride of the trained athlete.
Walking was a pet exercise.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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