More than an entire year has now passed, in which I have done little
else than to put the preceding details into shape from brief memoranda
made at the time of the experiment. While the physical agony ceased
almost immediately after the opium was abandoned, the irritation of
the system still continues. I do not know how better to describe my
present state than by the use of language which professional men may
regard as neither scientific nor accurate, but which will express, I
hope, to unprofessional readers the idea I wish to convey, when I say
that the entire system seems to me not merely to have been poisoned,
but saturated with poison. Had some virus been transfused into the
blood, which carried with it to every nerve of sensation a sense of
painful, exasperating unnaturalness, the feeling would not, I imagine,
be unlike what I am endeavoring to indicate.
ADDENDA.--At the time of writing the preceding narrative I had
supposed that the entire story was told, and that the intelligent
reader, should this record ever see the light, would naturally infer,
as I myself imagined would be the case, that the unnatural condition
of the body would soon become changed into a state of average
health. In this I was mistaken. So tenacious and obstinate in its hold
upon its victim is the opium disease, that even after the lapse of ten
years its poisonous agency is still felt. Without some reference to
these remoter consequences of the hasty abandonment of confirmed
habits of opium-eating, the chief object of this narrative as a guide
to others (who will certainly need all the information on the subject
that can be given them) would fail of being secured. While
unquestionably the heaviest part of the suffering resulting from such
a change of habit belongs to the few weeks in which the patient is
abandoning opium, it ought not to be concealed that this brief period
by no means comprises the limit within which he will find himself
obliged to maintain the most rigid watch over himself, lest the
feeling of desperation which at times assaults him from the hope of
immediate physical restoration disappointed and indefinitely
postponed, should drive him back to his old habits. Indeed, with some
temperaments, the greatest danger of a relapse comes in, not during
the process of abandonment, but after the habit has been broken. Great
bodily pain serves only to rouse up some natures to a more earnest
strife, and, as their sufferings become more intense, the
determination not to yield gains an unnatural strength. The mind is
vindicating itself as the master of the body. While in this state,
tortures and the fagot are powerless to extort groans or confessions
from the racked or half-consumed martyr. Many a sufferer has borne the
agony of the boots or the thumb-screw without flinching, whose courage
has given way under the less painful but more unendurable punishment
of prolonged imprisonment. In the one case all a man's powers of
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