[_The Man from Missouri_: "There you puzzle me to death. When I feel glad about anything, or bad about anything, or mad about anything--well, it seems only common sense to say so. Can't you _see that_?" _The Englishman_: "No. It isn't done."] (6) Thou shalt never make public thy domestic affairs. Above all, thou shalt never make open reference to thy women, in places where men gather together, such as the Club. [_The Man from Missouri_: "Yes, that is sound. Still, I consider that as a nation you rather overdo the Secrets of the Harem proposition."] (7) Thou shalt make War as a Sportsman. Thou shalt play the game. That is to say, thou shalt not study the science too laboriously beforehand, for that would savour of professionalism. And when thou dost fight thou shalt have strict regard for the rules, even if it be to thine own hurt. Moreover, thou shalt play for thy side and not for thyself. Thou shalt visit no personal affront upon thine enemy when thou dost capture him, for that is not the game. [_The Man from Missouri_: "Yes, I'm with you there all the time. Perhaps a little more seriousness and a little less pipeclay might help your Army, but no one denies their clean fighting."] (8) Thou shalt never be in a hurry. Thou shalt employ deliberation in thought. [_The Man from Missouri_: "Yes, sir, I know all about that! It used to make me hot under the collar to sit and listen to an Englishman's mind working--on its first speed _all_ the time. Now that I know you better, I am getting used to it; but I confess, right now, that there was a time when I regarded your entire nation as solid ivory from the ears up."] (9) Thou shalt not enter into friendly relations with a stranger, least of all a foreigner, until thou shalt have made enquiry concerning him. When thou hast discovered a common bond, however slight, thou shalt take him to thy bosom. [_The Man from Missouri_: "Yes, that's right. I once shared a ship-cabin with an Englishman on a seven-day trip. For three days we never got beyond 'Good morning,' although I could see by the look in his eye that he was kindly disposed, and was only held back by want of a reference. However, the fourth day out he asked me if I had ever been in Shropshire. I said no, but my sister had once visited there, with some people whose name I have now forgotten. But that was enough. It appeared that he knew the people; he was their vassal, or overlord, or mortgagee, or something. After that he wanted to adopt me."] (10) Thou shalt render thyself inconspicuous. Thou shalt not wear unusual apparel, or thou shalt be committed to a special hell reserved for those who, knowing better, wear made-up ties, or who compass unlawful combinations of frock-coats, derby hats, and tan boots. [_The Man from Missouri_: "Oh, you Clarence!"] CHAPTER THREE