What was to be done? Resist? No doubt. But so many legions had burst from the Germanic reservoirs. What if it was the barbarians' turn to spread across this corner of the world? An unwavering law--why not? France would perhaps die away--the most civilised nation, ruined by her intelligence, by her scepticism revolting against that which had formed her grandeur. I glanced at the string of stationary trains below. Should we ever get any farther? Were we not more likely to fight where we were? An ironical fate to perish in sight of these towers, symbols of our whilom virtue, of our repudiated creed! It must be noticed that I was still convinced that we should all do our utmost duty. We should merit the respect of those who would build on our ruins. I closed my eyes. I almost wished that the hour of our noble passing would strike as soon as possible. It seemed to me that, wounded to the death, I might have closed my eyes, unregretfully, on my race and on myself since we had achieved our destiny. And yet compunction pursued me among these gloomy speculations. Where was my dauntlessness of yesterday? Why did I suddenly flinch? I sought for the torches which lit up my path. A dazzling beacon stood forth: My love! Jeannine--Jeannine! I still adored her, but what fears interposed themselves, chilling my hope. I counted the days, how many was it, five or six, since I had heard from her. Our one chance of happiness was exposed to so many risks. What was happening over there? If there were strikes and riots, and the attendant train of outrages? A fair-haired victim...! Would not our future fall to pieces with the future of our nation? Or again--other thoughts assailed me. The turgid surge of uncertainty. Had I deceived myself? Had I not relied too much on a few friendly letters? Had the exalted tone of my missives suddenly alarmed her? And then I took pity on myself. So that was the only cause of my depression. The delay in our correspondence. But was there any one round me, never mind who it was, more favoured than I? I tried in vain to bring about a reaction. I went back into the valley. Guillaumin was watching for me and greeted me by asking: "Well, are you convinced now?" Yes, it certainly was firing. It could be heard quite distinctly. The men had recognised it, and seemed exhilarated by it. Judsi announced: "Boom! There now! We missed the band!" Primitive souls, who did not know what anxiety was. CHAPTER XII PESSIMISM Towards midday we set off again, but to our surprise, went slowly backwards, accompanied by the shrill blasts of whistles. The line beyond Rheims must obviously be cut, or just about to be cut. Where were they taking us to? There was a new halt, near a branch line, which lasted for an interminable time. Then we laboriously got under way again. The evening was already falling. How long did that journey last? Two nights and two days? Or three? It was enough to make one lose all idea of time.