In spite of my instinctive horror of any display of feeling, I could not help imagining that some heartfelt word would pass between us, some brotherly embrace draw us closer to each other ... and the prospect moved me. Laquarrière soon settled the matter. When we got to my door, he stopped suddenly and held out his hand saying: "Well, so long, old chap! Hope your pack will weigh lightly on you!" It just hit the nail on the head. "So long, old chap!" I repeated. He went off, swinging his stick. Oh well, it was quite natural! We were nothing to each other. Nobody was anything to any one.... What idle fancies I had woven! _BOOK III_ _August 4th-9th_ CHAPTER XI THE FIRST STAGE Montparnasse station--cold and grey on this dull August morning. Groups of people, each setting out with its escort, might be seen streaming in from all the neighbouring turnings towards the square which the last tooting trams were crossing. They formed but one swarm, scattered and renewed without ceasing. There was nothing like these huge quivering masses, the preoccupation of all Paris, magnificent in their emotion and courage, who succeeded each other at the Gare de L'Est. Poor women, young and old looking almost equally faded, were carrying old handkerchiefs containing the possessions of their husbands and sons,--working-men in broad belts. Beside them, fathers wearing decorations and beautifully dressed mothers and sisters surrounded young _bourgeois_ dragging heavy kit-bags. All these people were holding back their tears and smiling, saying that they would see each other again! As for me, I was alone. I was leaving nothing behind me. So much the better; I was glad of it. I was starting on the great adventure, with an entirely open mind, in the rôle of an on-looker. The two staircases were barricaded. Only one entrance was open, reserved for soldiers carrying their railway warrants in their hands. I followed the stream. We climbed the slope. From the road below passers-by made us signs of encouragement. I noted the quick sprightly steps of most of my companions. Mine were rather slower but firm and decided nevertheless. I unconsciously adopted the gait of a man who means to see the thing through. I should, I thought, see nearly all my contemporaries in the regiment turning up at this meeting-place. I rejoiced at the thought of spying out, on each one's forehead, the reflection of his private feelings.