"Whether they know it or not that is their business.... But if I have to die without seeing something of life, then I shall be the first to whom such a thing happens!... Understand then, this time of torment must come to an end! I won't sit here any longer, and wait till the cholera comes to me as it did to the accordion-player, and carries me off to the grave. No, I won't, I can't! I would rather go boldly and meet it.... Peter, the student, said to me--'If Fate is against you, just show that you also can oppose Fate. You can but try which is the stronger.... It's simply a battle--nothing more.' You ask what is the matter with me?... I mean to go as an attendant in the Infirmary! do you understand?... I will crawl right into the jaws that threaten, and they may swallow me up, but at least I will defend myself with my hands and my feet!... I shan't be so badly off there; I shall get twenty roubles a month, besides tips, and my keep. It's just possible that I shall die there; but that might happen here!... At any rate it's a change in one's life." He struck the table with his fist in wild excitement, so that the tea-things clattered and danced. Matrona had listened to him at first full of curiosity and disquietude, but towards the end she interrupted angrily. "The medical student has been advising you to do this, hasn't he?" she asked in a meaning voice. "Haven't I my own reason to go by? Can't I take a decision for myself?" answered Grigori, evading a direct answer. "Well!--and what am I to do meanwhile?" "What are you to do?" asked Grigori, astonished. He had not once thought about this side of the question. The simplest way, of course, would be for him to leave his wife in their old lodgings. But wives are not always trustworthy, and he had not entire confidence in his Matrona. She required, according to him, a good deal of looking after. Struck by this thought, Grigori continued sullenly-- "The most simple thing would be for you to remain here. I shall always get my wages, and that will keep you. Hm!--yes," he said, apparently anxious to hear what she would reply to this. "It's all the same to me," she answered quietly. And once more he noticed cross her face that woman's smile, which seemed to him to possess a double meaning, and which had so often before awoke in him a feeling of jealousy. It aroused his anger now just in the same way, but he knew how to control himself, and said abruptly, "It's all nonsense, all that you say!" He looked at her irritably, full of expectation of what she would reply. She however was silent, but continued to annoy him with the same provoking smile. "Well!--what's to be done?" asked Grigori at last in a higher key. "Yes, what's to be done?" replied Matrona indifferently, drying the teacups. "You had better not play me any tricks, you serpent!--you had better not, or you will get one over the head!" raged Orloff. "It may be I am going to my death!"