"My dear brave one!" whispered Matrona, and pressed tenderly against
him.
"I would throw myself against a hundred sharp knives if I could do
any good.... Do you understand? that?... Not for my own profit, but
to make men's lives happier.... I see there such people as the doctor
Wasschtschenko and the student Chochrjakoff; the work they do is quite
wonderful. One would think they would have died long ago from absolute
fatigue.... Do you think they work for the love of money? No man would
work like that for money only! The head doctor has plenty of his own
... he needs no more ... he is a rich man already.... When he was ill
lately, Doctor Wasschtschenko watched by him for four days and nights;
not once did he go home during the whole time.... Money plays no part
in all this; they do it out of pity ... they are sorry for the people,
and so they sacrifice themselves ... And for whom?... For everybody ...
as much for Mischka Ussoff as for anybody else.... They took as much
pains to get him better as they did about the others, and they were
quite rejoiced when he got better. This Mishka, if he had his deserts,
should be in penal servitude, for every one knows that he is a thief or
something worse!... Yet they were quite rejoiced when he got out of bed
for the first time, and laughed aloud for pure joy!... I should like to
feel such happiness also; I am full of envy when I see how glad they
are, and I grow hot with the desire to do as they do. But how am I to
begin?... Ah!'tis a devil of a business!..."
He made a hopeless gesture, expressive of his despair, and once more
sank into profound reflection. Matrona was silent, but her heart beat
rapidly. The excited state of mind of her husband made her feel vaguely
anxious. She felt distinctly in his words the burning pain which
oppressed him during his, to her, incomprehensible fits of depression.
She loved her husband; and it was a husband she needed, not a hero....
They approached the steep banks of the river, and sat down near each
other on the grass. Above them nodded the feathery tops of the young
birch-trees. Down below, over the water, lay a blue mist, reeking
of rotting leaves, of pine-needles, and of damp earth. Backwards
and forwards a light breath of wind swept over the ravine; the tops
of the young trees moved softly, and the whole forest seemed filled
simultaneously with a shy whispering, as if some beloved person were
asleep under the shelter of its trees, and it feared to wake him. The
stars shone down from above, and the lights flashed from the town,
having the appearance, against the dark background, of gardens of gay
quivering flowers. The Orloffs sat on in silence. Grigori drummed with
his fingers on his knee, whilst Matrona watched him and sighed softly.
Suddenly she put her arms round his neck, laid her head against his
breast, and whispered--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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