One day this dorg was slumberin' Behind the kitchen stove, When suddenly a wicked flea-- An ugly little cove-- Commenced upon his faithful back With many jumps to rove. Then up arose that tarrier, With frenzy in his eye, And waitin' only long enough To make a touchin' cry, Commenced to twist his head around, Most wonderfully spry. But all in vain; his shape was sich, So awful short and fat-- And though he doubled up hisself, And strained hisself at that, His mouth was half an inch away From where the varmint sat. The dorg sat up an awful yowl And twisted like an eel, Emitting cries of misery At ev'ry nip he'd feel, And tumblin' down and jumpin' up, And turnin' like a wheel. But still that most owdacious flea Kept up a constant chaw Just where he couldn't be scratched out By any reach of paw. But always half an inch beyond His wictim's snappin' jaw. Sam Johnson heard the noise, and came To save his animile; But when he see the crittur spin-- A barkin' all the while-- He dreaded hiderfobia, And then began to rile. "The pup is mad enough," says he, And luggin' in his axe, He gev the wretched tarrier A pair of awful cracks, That stretched him out upon the floor, As dead as carpet-tacks. MORAL. Take warnin' by this tarrier, Now turned to sassidge meat; And when misfortin's flea shall come Upon your back to eat, Beware, or you may die because You can't make both ends meet. The Arkansaw Tract Society put a note at the bottom of this moral lyric, my boy, stating that the "wicked flea here mentioned is the same varmint which is mentioned in Scripture as being so bold; 'the wicked flea, when no man pursueth but the righteous, is as bold as a lion.'" Speaking of literature, my boy, I am happy to say that the members of the Mackerel Brigade have been inspired to emulate great examples by the biographies of great soldiers which have been sent to the camp for their reading by the thoughtful women of America. For instance, here we have the LIFE OF GENERAL GARIBALDI. BY THE NOBLEST RUM 'UN OF THE MALL. CHAPTER I. HIS BIRTH. At that period of the world's history when the Past immediately preceded the Present, and the Future was yet to come, there existed in a small town of which the houses formed a part, a rich but respectable couple. Owing to a combination of circumstances, their first son was a boy of the male gender, who inherited the name of his parents from the moment of his birth, and who is the subject of our story. When he was about five hours old, his male parent said to him: "My boy, do you know me?"