The Orpheus C. Kerr Papers, Series 2Newell, R. H. (Robert Henry)
History
The Orpheus C. Kerr Papers, Series 2
Newell, R. H. (Robert Henry)
United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction
"That we must part," returned Mr. PETERS, calmly straightening an angle
in the rim of his hat. "You named an hour for my nocturnal
escape--quarter-past Twelve. I fled the Residence at that unseemly
hour, though another maiden had previously invited me to liberty and
the pursuit of happiness. I went, and walked straight into the arms of
the unsleeping Southern Confederacy, who was inebriated at the time,
and conducted me to the penal pork-packing establishment. Enough! we
part. I go to Danville with you, but only as an ordinary acquaintance
of chilling reserve."
"Why BOB, what can you mean?" ejaculated _Libby_, to whom this
remarkable speech was not particularly lucid; "it was not my fault that
you were taken. If you had gone at quarter-past Twelve, as I told you,
all would have been well. Oh, BOB, when JOCKO told me next morning that
he had waited for you a whole hour in the hall in vain, and when ma and
I found that you had really gone at the wrong time, I sat right down
and cried my eyes out."
"The wrong time!" exclaimed Mr. PETERS, striding suddenly toward the
mirror. "Impossible! Observe this repeater of mine, which is a reliable
time-piece. On the night in question, this repeater was plainly before
me, hanging on this gas bracket, before this looking-glass." Here Mr.
PETERS illustrated his assertion by suspending his watch from the
bracket, under which it spun feebly for a moment. "At the very instant
of my waking from a temporary slumber, I caught sight of this same
repeater in the glass, and--why! what's this?"
In a moment every vestige of resentment had faded from the features of
Mr. BOB PETERS, and he stood staring at the reflection of his watch in
the glass with the look of a man in the last stage of wonder.
LIBBY timidly drew near and placed a hand on his arm.
"What's the matter, dear?"
"What time is it now by the repeater?" asked Mr. PETERS, excitedly, but
without moving his eyes.
"Why, it's ten minutes past Ten," replied LIBBY, glancing at the face
of the watch as it appeared in the mirror, and wondering what would
come next.
"Look again!!" thundered Mr. PETERS.
"Why," repeated LIBBY, half-frightened, "it's ten minutes past Ten."
Mr. BOB PETERS deliberately took down his watch and pointed
convulsively at its face with one finger. The time was ten minutes _of_
Ten!
Mr. PETERS' first act was to clasp the maiden to his bosom and kiss her
unceremoniously. Then releasing her, he took two steps in a popular
break-down and burst into a stentorian peal of laughter.
"I shall have to call Pa," said poor LIBBY.
"Not a bit of it!" shouted BOB, ceasing his Terpsichoreanism for a
moment; "don't you see the joke? It's all in the looking-glass, my pet.
When I thought it was a quarter past Twelve and fled the residence, it
was really a quarter _of_ Twelve--don't you see? The looking-glass
_reversed the hands on the watch_!"
And so it was, _mon ami_. Hold your own time-piece with its face to a
mirror, and you will "see the point."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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