“Just so,” he said, “I live. I had never lived before.”
Most of all, I think, I was perplexed at the sight of his violin. From
what I had seen of his youthful life, I could have imagined him spending
all day and all night with that; but here it hung, useless as a stick of
wood.
“You could have made strings for it,” I said. “I can make them for you.”
“But they would be of no use to me,” he answered.
“And all your music—you have given it up?”
“The music I have to do with,” he said, “has long ceased to be music
that anyone could play.”
“But, Daniel!” I protested.
“Listen to me,” he said. “Have you never read that Beethoven never heard
some of his greatest symphonies? Do you not understand how a musician
can comprehend music from a score? And from that, how he can create it
in his own mind and enjoy it, without ever writing it down or hearing
it?”
“Then,” I said, almost speechless with wonder; “then you compose music
in your mind?”
“No,” he said. “I _live_ music in my soul.”
These things were on the day of my rescue, after I had recovered from my
exhaustion. The words which he spoke I no more comprehended than if I
had been a child; but the strangeness of the thing haunted my soul, and
my questioning and arguing never ceased. All of this he bore with a
gentle patience.
I had my youthful recollections of Robinson Crusoe; and as a man of
science, I could naturally not spend two minutes conversing with Daniel
and examining his affairs without thinking some new device by which he
could have made his lot more tolerable. I could as yet hardly realise
that it was to be my own fate to live upon the deserted island for ever;
all my thoughts were of what I should have done had I been in his place.
He had no weapons, no traps, no gardens, no house—and so on. “But,
Edward,” he would say again and again, “do you not understand? Once
more—I have no _time_ for such things.”
“Time! _Time!_” I would cry. “But what _else_ have you? What have you to
_do?_”
“I have my life to live,” was the invariable response; “I have no time
for anything else.”
We were sitting that afternoon beneath the shade of a great forest-tree
before the cavern. Suddenly, seeing again the dazed look upon my face,
he put his arm about me.
“Listen to me, dear brother,” he said, smiling. “You remember Diogenes,
who lived in a tub? That was in order that he might have to call no man
master, and no thing—least of all his own body. And can you not see that
a man’s own soul is his soul just the same, whether he be on a desert
island or in the midst of a city of millions? And that mind, emotion,
will—he has the life of his soul to live?”
I sat surprised into silence; then suddenly I felt Daniel’s arm tighten
about me. “Ah, my dear brother,” he said, his voice lowering, “it will
be so hard! Do you think I have not realised it—how hard, _hard_ it will
be?”
“What will be hard?” I asked.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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