"Say them quickly, then, for you enter not my doors again, you wretched fellows, who have ruined all the water-carriers and all the bath people in Bagdad." "What is that you mean?" replied the caliph; "we are lost in mystery?" "What!" replied Yussuf; "have you not heard the decree of this morning?" "Gentle sir, we have been so busy sorting our wares, that we have not stepped out this day, and are ignorant of all that hath passed in Bagdad." "Then you shall come up and learn; but first swear by Moses, Esau, and the Prophet, that you will not _suppose_; for all you have imagined has proved as true as if it had been engraven on the ruby seal of Solomon." These conditions were readily accepted by the caliph and his companions, and they were then admitted up stairs, where they found every thing disposed in the usual order, and the same profusion. When they had taken their seats in the corner of the room, Yussuf said, "Now, my guests, as you hope for pardon, tell me, do you know nothing of what has happened to me this day--and what the blockhead of a caliph has been about?" Haroun and the vizier could with difficulty restrain their laughter, as they shook their heads. "Yes," continued Yussuf, "that vicegerent of a tattered beard, and more tattered understanding, has issued a decree for closing the baths for three days, by which cruel ordinance, I was again cast adrift upon the sea of necessity. However, Providence stood my friend, and threw a few dirhems in my way, and I have made my customary provision in spite of the wretch of a caliph, who I fully believe is an atheist, and no true believer." "Inshallah," said the caliph to himself, "but I'll be even with you some day, at least." Yussuf then filled his cup several times, and was in high glee, as he narrated the events of the day, concluding with, "I am Yussuf--I put my trust in God. As an officer of the law I intend to live and die, and to-morrow I shall attend the ball of the cadi." "But," said Giaffar, "suppose--" "Suppose! by the beard of the Prophet, if you dare to suppose again in my presence, I will pound your fat stomach into a jelly," cried Yussuf, seizing his cudgel. "No, no, my friend, I merely wished to say--" "Say nothing," roared Yussuf, "or you never speak again." "Then we will only think, my friend." "That I will allow, and I also think as well as you. My thoughts are, that it will be wise for you to quit as fast as you can, for I have the cudgel in my hand, and am not in the very best of humours." The caliph and his attendants were of the same opinion, and took their leave of their irritated host.