"Reading may be necessary, I will allow," replied Mustapha; "but I trust
I can soon prove to your highness that writing is as dangerous as it is
useless. More men have been ruined by that unfortunate acquirement,
than by any other; and dangerous as it is to all, it is still more
dangerous to men in high power. For instance, your sublime highness
sends a message in writing, which is ill-received, and it is produced
against you; but had it been a verbal message, you could deny it, and
bastinado to death the Tartar who carried it, as a proof of your
sincerity."
"Very true, Mustapha."
"The grandfather of your slave," continued the barber-vizier, "held the
situation of receiver-general at the custom-house; and he was always in
a fury when he was obliged to take up the pen. It was his creed, that
no government could prosper when writing was in general use. `Observe,
Mustapha,' said he to me one day, `here is the curse of writing,--for
all the money which is paid in, I am obliged to give a receipt. What is
the consequence? that government loses many thousand sequins every year;
for when I apply to them for a second payment, they produce their
receipt. Now if it had not been for this cursed invention of writing,
Inshallah! they should have paid twice, if not thrice over. Remember,
Mustapha,' continued he, `that reading and writing only clog the wheels
of government.'"
"Very true, Mustapha," observed the pacha, "then we will have no
writing."
"Yes, your sublime highness, every thing in writing from others, but
nothing in writing from ourselves. I have a young Greek slave, who can
be employed in these matters. He reads well. I have lately employed
him in reading to me the stories of `Thousand and one Nights.'"
"Stories," cried the pacha; "what are they about? I never heard of
them; I'm very fond of stories."
"If it would pleasure your sublime highness to hear these stories read,
the slave will wait your commands," replied the vizier.
"Bring him this evening, Mustapha; we will smoke a pipe, and listen to
them; I'm very fond of stories--they always send me to sleep."
The business of the day was transacted with admirable precision and
despatch by the two quondam barbers, who proved how easy it is to
govern, where there are not "three estates" to confuse people. They sat
in the divan as highwaymen loiter on the road, and it was "Your money or
your life" to all who made their appearance.
At the usual hour the court broke up, the guards retired, the money was
carried to the treasury, the executioner wiped his sword, and the lives
of the pacha's subjects were considered to be in a state of comparative
security, until the affairs of the country were again brought under
their cognisance on the ensuing day.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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