TIM: I don’t know—if she can breathe some of her own spirit into them they must be permanently enriched. [_MRS. MARTINEAU, MR. MOLYNEUX and MR. JORDAN are shown in. General greetings._ [_MRS. MARTINEAU introduces JORDAN to LORD WILLIAM and SELINA._ LORD WILLIAM: Did you come down by train? JORDAN: Yes. MRS. MARTINEAU: There was a most charming man in the carriage—quite drunk. He looked round at us all and said: “I’m glad I’m not here.” MOLYNEUX: Unfortunately he got out at the next station, which must have taken the edge off his enjoyment. MRS. MARTINEAU: Where is Ann? LORD WILLIAM: I don’t know. MOLYNEUX: We should see more of Ann if we could appear to her as a duty. Unfortunately, we are undoubtedly a pleasure. SELINA: You might make a bid as sinners in need of reform. TIM: But that is just what is so wonderful about Ann. She never wants anyone to be better—only happier. LORD WILLIAM: Ann is my niece. She is, of course, a saint, but she is not a fool. No Cathcart is a fool. SELINA: Amen. LORD WILLIAM: Don’t interrupt. I was about to say something very good. SELINA: Would you like to “think it out in silence?” LORD WILLIAM: What were we talking about? MRS. MARTINEAU: There _is_ only one subject in this house. SELINA: We were talking about Ann. LORD WILLIAM: Yes—but what were you actually saying? SELINA: Tim said that Ann never tried to make people good, but only happy. MRS. MARTINEAU: Only! LORD WILLIAM: I remember I was about to say that in practice goodness and happiness are much the same thing. SELINA: Bravo! MOLYNEUX: My dear Bill, surely that is a platitude? LORD WILLIAM: Even a platitude can contain a truth. MOLYNEUX: But we are few of us brave enough to admit it. SELINA: What do you think, Mr. Jordan? JORDAN: I think that the truth can be found in very unexpected places. SELINA: The obvious, for instance? JORDAN: I wasn’t thinking of that. SELINA: Indeed? LORD WILLIAM: Is this your first visit here, Mr. Jordan? JORDAN: No. LORD WILLIAM: Then you know Ninian? JORDAN: I have just met Lord Candover. MOLYNEUX: Then you know Ninian. [_They laugh._ SELINA: Ninian is first-hand information. MRS. MARTINEAU: What do you mean? SELINA: That you learn all there is to be learnt the first time. LORD WILLIAM: No one can tell you anything about him. The whole truth is revealed in five minutes. SELINA: Yes, indeed. It doesn’t take a detective to know what Ninian is like. LORD WILLIAM: He is the family masterpiece. SELINA: By marriage. MOLYNEUX: A very inconvenient institution, marriage. Illogical when you want one thing, to have another. SELINA: You mean when you want one person to have two? MOLYNEUX: Precisely. SELINA: Ninian would be perfect if we didn’t have so much of him. He never fails one. LORD WILLIAM: He combines under the cover of an English gentleman— SELINA: Of a Lord Lieutenant. LORD WILLIAM: I accept the amendment, of a Lord Lieutenant; the ridiculous and the sublime.