MOLYNEUX: We are universally considered as wits, and as that reputation, so easily gained, is impossible to lose, we are dragooned by public opinion and our own self-respect into living up to it. LORD WILLIAM: You see, Jordan, a reputation is a prison. MRS. MARTINEAU: And self-respect is the jailor. SELINA: What is self-respect, Tim? TIM: The thing that makes Mrs. Martineau dress for dinner when she is alone in the country, that prevents Jordan from buying a vote, Lord William from making a bad joke—— MRS. MARTINEAU: And Ann from having a lover. LORD WILLIAM: Lord bless my soul, Ann has not been prevented from having a lover. The possibility never occurred to her. MRS. MARTINEAU: If it did she would reject it without a pang. Ann’s moral tidiness is unequalled. TIM (_angrily_): Is that your definition of effortless radiant goodness? MRS. MARTINEAU: I only meant that Ann is not exactly a Bohemian. All her meals are in the dining-room. There are no trays in her life. TIM: That is Ninian. MRS. MARTINEAU: Well, she is responsible for him, isn’t she? Husbands aren’t gifts from God like one’s relations. MOLYNEUX: A husband is every woman’s first big mistake. MRS. MARTINEAU: Which is the next? MOLYNEUX: Her second lover. MRS. MARTINEAU: How subtle you are. LORD WILLIAM: A woman’s first lover is usually a slight caricature of her husband. People don’t escape from one thing to another, but from one thing to the same thing. MOLYNEUX: There you are again, Bill, always dragging in your confounded philosophy. MRS. MARTINEAU: What is your philosophy? MOLYNEUX: It isn’t really philosophy at all—Bill maintains that life is a merry-go-round always coming back to the same point. LORD WILLIAM: And we poor fools think that we are steering our painted swans when we can turn them neither to right nor to left. Why, we can’t even make them go faster or slower. JORDAN: You don’t believe in free will, Lord William? LORD WILLIAM: I believe that one can fall off. SELINA: Mr. Jordan, do you think that this is the right atmosphere in which to bring up a young girl? MRS. MARTINEAU: We shall drive you to romance. SELINA: And then what will become of me? LORD WILLIAM: You will return to us, my dear. SELINA: I can’t think why Ann has you in the house. LORD WILLIAM: I am her uncle. She believes that Molly has a heart of gold. Mrs. Martineau played with her in the nursery. Tim is a saint, and Jordan, as he told you, takes some women and some things seriously. Ann is the woman and she selects the things. [_Enter LADY EMILY CATHCART._ LADY EMILY: Where is Ann? MRS. MARTINEAU: Still at her Red Cross meeting. LORD WILLIAM: Emily, as a maiden lady of immaculate reputation—— MOLYNEUX: Remember you are speaking of your sister, Bill. LADY EMILY: Molly, you are taking away my character. MOLYNEUX (_gallantly_): I am too modest to hope to succeed where so many have failed.