"Merciful fathers!" she exclaimed, and, with that sense of humour which
is the saving grace, the dear woman put her hand to her stays. She was
feeling for her heart. She had none. Or any appetite, she presently told
a servant who came to say that dinner was served.
She misjudged herself. For twenty-five minutes, in an adjoining room,
she ate steadily and uncomplainingly. She had bouillon, skate in black
butter, cutlets in curl-papers, sweetbread and cockscombs, a cold
artichoke, hot almond pudding, an apricot, a bit of roquefort, a pint of
claret, a thimble of benedictine and not a twinge, none of the
indigestion of square-dealing, none of gastritis of good faith. She was
a well-dressed ambition, intent on her food. No discomfort therefore. On
the contrary. Margaret was in bed--safe there. Fate and the cook were
kind.
With the taste of the liqueur still in her mouth, she went to her
daughter who was ill with one of those maladies which, being primarily
psychical, science cannot treat. Science is a classification of human
ignorance. It has remedies for the flesh, it has none for the soul. The
remedies exist, but they are dispensed only by the great apothecaries
that time and philosophy are.
At the moment neither was available. Behind Margaret's forehead a
monster crouched and crunched. That was nothing. It was in the tender
places of her heart that the girl agonised and by comparison to the
torture there, the monster was benign.
Margaret was nineteen, which is a very mature age; perhaps the most
mature, since all girlhood lies behind it. Beyond are the
pharmacop[oe]ias of time and, fortune favouring, the sofas of
philosophy. But these sofas, even when within reach, are not adapted to
everybody. To the young, they are detestable. Reposefully they admonish
that nothing is important. They whisper patience to the impatient. To
hope, they say, "Be still"; to desire, "Be quiet"; to wisdom, "Be
foolish."
Conversation of that kind is very irritating, when you have heard it,
which Margaret never had. She was otherwise ignorant. She did not know
that a sage wrote a book in praise of folly. But she acted as though she
knew it by heart. She believed, as many of us do believe, that love
confers the right to run a fence around the happy mortals for whom we
care. It is a very astounding belief. Margaret, who believed in many
wonderful things, believed in that and, being credulous, believed also
that her betrothed had crawled under the fence and into what mire! It
polluted her, soiled her thoughts, followed and smeared her in the
secret chambers of her being. Any cross is heavy. This cross was
degrading.
In her darkened room, on her bed of pain, she had shrunk from it. Her
forehead was a coronet of fire. That was nothing. A greater pain
suppresses a lesser one. The burn of her soul was a moxa to the burn of
the flesh.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account