Let me consider what I had better do. I cannot leave the university in
the middle of the term. If I were free, my course would be obvious. I
should start at once and travel in Persia. But would she allow me to
start? And could her influence not reach me in Persia, and bring me
back to within touch of her crutch? I can only find out the limits of
this hellish power by my own bitter experience. I will fight and fight
and fight--and what can I do more?
I know very well that about eight o'clock to-night that craving for her
society, that irresistible restlessness, will come upon me. How shall
I overcome it? What shall I do? I must make it impossible for me to
leave the room. I shall lock the door and throw the key out of the
window. But, then, what am I to do in the morning? Never mind about
the morning. I must at all costs break this chain which holds me.
April 9. Victory! I have done splendidly! At seven o'clock last
night I took a hasty dinner, and then locked myself up in my bedroom
and dropped the key into the garden. I chose a cheery novel, and lay
in bed for three hours trying to read it, but really in a horrible
state of trepidation, expecting every instant that I should become
conscious of the impulse. Nothing of the sort occurred, however, and I
awoke this morning with the feeling that a black nightmare had been
lifted off me. Perhaps the creature realized what I had done, and
understood that it was useless to try to influence me. At any rate, I
have beaten her once, and if I can do it once, I can do it again.
It was most awkward about the key in the morning. Luckily, there was
an under-gardener below, and I asked him to throw it up. No doubt he
thought I had just dropped it. I will have doors and windows screwed
up and six stout men to hold me down in my bed before I will surrender
myself to be hag-ridden in this way.
I had a note from Mrs. Marden this afternoon asking me to go round and
see her. I intended to do so in any case, but had not excepted to find
bad news waiting for me. It seems that the Armstrongs, from whom
Agatha has expectations, are due home from Adelaide in the Aurora, and
that they have written to Mrs. Marden and her to meet them in town.
They will probably be away for a month or six weeks, and, as the Aurora
is due on Wednesday, they must go at once--to-morrow, if they are ready
in time. My consolation is that when we meet again there will be no
more parting between Agatha and me.
"I want you to do one thing, Agatha," said I, when we were alone
together. "If you should happen to meet Miss Penclosa, either in town
or here, you must promise me never again to allow her to mesmerize you."
Agatha opened her eyes.
"Why, it was only the other day that you were saying how interesting it
all was, and how determined you were to finish your experiments."
"I know, but I have changed my mind since then."
"And you won't have it any more?"
"No."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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