I shrugged my shoulders and turned away.
"Well," said she, after a pause, "if you despise my love, I must see
what can be done with fear. You smile, but the day will come when you
will come screaming to me for pardon. Yes, you will grovel on the
ground before me, proud as you are, and you will curse the day that
ever you turned me from your best friend into your most bitter enemy.
Have a care, Professor Gilroy!" I saw a white hand shaking in the air,
and a face which was scarcely human, so convulsed was it with passion.
An instant later she was gone, and I heard the quick hobble and tap
receding down the passage.
But she has left a weight upon my heart. Vague presentiments of coming
misfortune lie heavy upon me. I try in vain to persuade myself that
these are only words of empty anger. I can remember those relentless
eyes too clearly to think so. What shall I do--ah, what shall I do? I
am no longer master of my own soul. At any moment this loathsome
parasite may creep into me, and then---- I must tell some one my
hideous secret--I must tell it or go mad. If I had some one to
sympathize and advise! Wilson is out of the question. Charles Sadler
would understand me only so far as his own experience carries him.
Pratt-Haldane! He is a well-balanced man, a man of great common-sense
and resource. I will go to him. I will tell him every thing. God
grant that he may be able to advise me!
IV
6.45 P. M. No, it is useless. There is no human help for me; I must
fight this out single-handed. Two courses lie before me. I might
become this woman's lover. Or I must endure such persecutions as she
can inflict upon me. Even if none come, I shall live in a hell of
apprehension. But she may torture me, she may drive me mad, she may
kill me: I will never, never, never give in. What can she inflict
which would be worse than the loss of Agatha, and the knowledge that I
am a perjured liar, and have forfeited the name of gentleman?
Pratt-Haldane was most amiable, and listened with all politeness to my
story. But when I looked at his heavy set features, his slow eyes, and
the ponderous study furniture which surrounded him, I could hardly tell
him what I had come to say. It was all so substantial, so material.
And, besides, what would I myself have said a short month ago if one of
my colleagues had come to me with a story of demonic possession?
Perhaps. I should have been less patient than he was. As it was, he
took notes of my statement, asked me how much tea I drank, how many
hours I slept, whether I had been overworking much, had I had sudden
pains in the head, evil dreams, singing in the ears, flashes before the
eyes--all questions which pointed to his belief that brain congestion
was at the bottom of my trouble. Finally he dismissed me with a great
many platitudes about open-air exercise, and avoidance of nervous
excitement. His prescription, which was for chloral and bromide, I
rolled up and threw into the gutter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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