"I can kick the ball from the eighteenth tee and get this hole in five, But I took the wood and I tried to cross that ditch with a mighty drive--" Let us end the quotes, it is best for all to imagine his language rich, But he topped that ball, as we often do, and the pill stopped in the ditch. His third was short and his fourth was bad and his fifth was off the line, And he took an eight on the eighteenth hole with a five for a seventy-nine. I gathered his clubs and I took his arm and alone in the locker room I left him sitting upon the bench, a picture of grief and gloom; And the last man came and took his shower and hurried upon his way, But still he sat with his head bowed down like one with a mind astray, And he counted his score card o'er and o'er and muttered this doleful whine: "I took an eight on the eighteenth hole, with a five for a seventy-nine!" _Peter and Paul_ Peter's the fellow I go to whenever Paul presses his claim. Peter is easy to deal with, Peter's not ready with blame; Paul has a way of insisting I shall be true to my word, And hints of a final accounting whenever a debt is incurred. Peter is pleasant and smiling and ready to lend when he can; Paul offers counsel and caution and talks of the ways of a man, And whenever Paul's debts must be settled and I must return what I owe And haven't the money I promised, to borrow from Peter I go. But the more that I think about Peter, the greater my fancy for Paul, I know he'd be first to defend me if ever disaster should fall, For Peter thinks only of money and smilingly reckons his fee, While Paul, when he whispers of caution, thinks not of himself but of me. Paul would defend me from trouble, would shield and protect my renown, But Peter would add to my burdens and smilingly let me go down. Yes, Peter the pleasant would wreck me, and gloat when I rode to my fall, So the more that I learn about Peter, the greater my fondness for Paul. _Life's Equipment_ "Here's how I figure it out," says he, "With my ears to hear and my eyes to see, And my legs to walk and my hands to work, And a head to bow and a cap to jerk Whenever a woman I know goes by-- It's well-equipped for this life, am I. "Kings and princes and high and low Have noses to smell when the blossoms blow. And eyes to see, but I don't suppose A king smells more with his royal nose Or sees more charm with his kingly eye In the pink of the orchard blooms, than I. "But eyes and ears and legs and hands Don't always follow the same commands, And some find beauty in dollar bills, And some in the streams and the misty hills; Some people hear nothing but mortal words, And some are tuned to the songs of birds.